Domino wrote:...Numbers, Once im Back To My Best, You'll Be Satisfied...

Let me know when you get there...

Amazing... Simply amazing...

Thanks, everyone. I've run into some obstacles with the second verse - not writer's block of anything, I've just been really busy. I've got some of it done; still working on the rest. This will be a piece I record when it's done. I've written a hook, but I don't like it, so I'll rewrite it. When it ...

What is this about...? I think he length - or lack thereof - is a big issue. Don't write something just to see another post in Scriptures under your name. Write long, meaningful pieces. Put thought and effort into them. Write them for YOU.

The rhyme scheme in this piece was simplistic. I'm confused ...

Domino, you're British, right...? That would explain why some of the rhyming words have an awkward feel to them. In any case, I liked this. I can't stress enough though how much I think you should be writing longer pieces. This was great and if it were four times the length, I would've really ...

Your verses are short. Even with the hook, this song would be 60 seconds long. Maybe.

Your flow is steady, in most parts - but still a little choppy. The content is garbage. How many more rappers will talk about chrome and game and all that idiocy...? The hook was very plain and choppy. A hook can ...

I've been working on this piece called State of The Union... It touches myriad socioeconomic issues of late as well as in the past (and a little religion - can't help myself). This, I think, would be the first verse. I've yet to write a hook. Let me know what you folks think.

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Imagine ...

B-Bear wrote:Thank u.. really appreciate u takin time to drop that type of detailed feedback!

No problem. I really appreciate reading something outside of the Puff Daddy club remix cookie cutter bullshit...

...but i'd like to see a more focused drop from u.. keep it comin the Dom

I concur. You've got skills, Domino; and while pieces like this are fun - and fun to read - a little focus into a heartfelt piece from you could turn out to be explosive.

This was nice - seemed kind of basic in places ...

I told my friends I wanna escape from this world of perplexity
cause i never reach complexity even though i struggle my hardest
I was told being an artist is a privilage, but i can't see that
i can't be that role model u expect, ya'll better believe that
but i can leave that...
I'm not feeling the ...

So is anyone entering this...?

Is this a joke...? I went to letbeef.com and it looks like a gay singles site. Is there an actual forum with rappers on it...? If so, can someone post a link...? I, myself, am a carnivore.

...I love beef.

ya numbers i totally fucked up the ending of that last verse which wasnt even supposed to go with the the other 2 verses but its an old piece so i just posted it w/out looking it through

You have to take pride in your work, homey. Check and double check your stuff. Always make sure it's up to ...

if i Wrote Any Longer Not Even As Many People Woulda Took Time To Leave Feed That Did...

There's your problem; stop writing for other people. Write for yourself. If you don't feel like "carrying it out for hours", then don't write it at all.

And no, the "fate and death" part was not evident ...

Quickly, someone bring this thread to the hospital - 'cause this shit is SIIIICK... Seriously...

This was awesome. Complexity, your verse was on fire; the flow was so smooth, it rolled off my tongue as I read through it. But what did you mean at the end when you said "fuck it was lube"...?

Rhino ...