appreciate the feedback it was really just kinda random thoughts but thanks anyways im gonna continue to work at it all criticism is welcome bad or good

Didn't really feel this at all don't kno where ur bars end or begin so flow was off try a different rhyme scheme to make ppl actuallly understand u do it like this ppl get bored fast

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Not bad for starters needs work then again so do I keep postin the the best thing about this is critivism take it and mature from it

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Literally u made me feel everything in the linesll wouldnt change anything in this good flow like the way u opened it up and just dropped into it went perfect

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Everything on point here kept me reading and intrested never a dull moment in the verses n I feel every bar hit the way u wanted it to would be a sick audio to listen to reminds me of a dblock go hard type of piece good work hope to see more

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Concept was cool but I've seen it times before not sayin it was bad just played out I think u could have put a lil more feeling behind it give ppl a visual description but good shit overall

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Nice my dude shit was ill kept me reading I would agree to choosing the burger king verse but all in all was a really sick piece keep doin u

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To be honest im not tryin to sound like I know wat im talkin about but the rhyme scheme was very basic and not enough meaning in ur lines for me to even say that was decent u know how to put ur words together which is a start but try to have a meaning for ur writtens

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Nice drop man its always good to read a humorous topical u got skill no doubt keep on doin ya thing lookin forward to seein more from you

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Relax, ease back im really known to heat tracks/
Its been a long time now im back like I relapsed/
Addicted to the mic so u kno I gotta hold it close/
One of my linesll prolli make a fiend overdose/
Go comatose im a devil to my coldest bone/
Ill macully colchin phonies catch u when ur home alone ...

now heres some hip hop im sick of these wack rappers/
spittin repition so does polly wanna cracker/
rollin up a blunt now you enterin to my zone/
touch me, im not a touch screen like the iphone/
hit ya like a cyclone, now let me remind you/
i'll find you, blind you infect you like the swine flu/
you ...

good look wit all the advice i appreciate the feed and criticism im workin on somethin right now so ill post soon

im in a league of my own so who stoppin me hater/
a lot of cats want beef so my shots get catered/
my money stretch like a limo who pockets greater/
only bitches talk shit when intoxicated/
beleive it or not i rap for the love and the fun/
but ass kissers get smacked wit the butt of the gun/
see the ...