Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

random thoughts

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
sylent
Rookie
Offline
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:27 pm

random thoughts

Post by sylent »

Relax, ease back im really known to heat tracks/
Its been a long time now im back like I relapsed/
Addicted to the mic so u kno I gotta hold it close/
One of my linesll prolli make a fiend overdose/
Go comatose im a devil to my coldest bone/
Ill macully colchin phonies catch u when ur home alone/
its been long now im in the zone like twilight/
y do I rhyme nice while im smokin on the pine spice/
you call me satin u hatin but I be patiently waitin/
Wit the eyes of a raven so wat u doin here/
its prolly nothin u fuckers don't wanna try me im rugged/
so keep on hidin behind shutters im speakin super clear/
I come out late in the night when u ain't able to fight/
and haunt ur house witta knife u hear ur fam screamin/
cuz im sick and sadistic to make ur mind go ballistic/
im from the underworld u just met witta damn demon/bitch

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
User avatar
Alvin
Sudonim Free
Offline
Posts: 1958
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:09 am
Wins: 8
Losses: 3
No Shows: 1
Location: CA

Re: random thoughts

Post by Alvin »

Good read, pretty evil, but the only line i couldnt plug in due to flow or rhyme sceme is: "its prolly nothin u fuckers don't wanna try me im rugged/" <--- erno, just didnt fit, maybe for a reason...
User avatar
QwarterZ
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1688
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:01 am
Wins: 4
Losses: 9

Re: random thoughts

Post by QwarterZ »

this was ok...its just as the title states...it seems as though u were just rambling off random thoughts and making them fit...which is cool but sometimes it really doesnt work as well as youd hope it would sooooo a little more work at it and youll be murdering these lines man sooooo keep doing what your doing and itll come together....

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
User avatar
sylent
Rookie
Offline
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:27 pm

Re: random thoughts

Post by sylent »

appreciate the feedback it was really just kinda random thoughts but thanks anyways im gonna continue to work at it all criticism is welcome bad or good
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests