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Prisoner To Reality

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Haz
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Prisoner To Reality

Post by Haz »

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/dark- ... html#92390

In the Sea Of dreams There's many Thing's that Can Effect your Journey..
Different ways Of seeing a Dream.. Soon you Realize your a


Prisoner To reality.



Awake my Dreams are Shackled-n-ish,Left deep with in Like Tackles-fa-Fish..
When aids Came i believed in Magic, why Can't i Tackle-a-Wish?!?!..
My mind has Me inprisioned,..Cold Walls in Wishin..My One Meal Reality was
Incisioned,Cut out the Picture a Caloge-Piece..Payin every Year under Gods-Lease
Once i get in space,i Drift ina Black-hole, A star Never known To Lack-soul
When my Eyes shut, my Mind-opens..Burning Imagery Like i'm-Smokin...
Deseption is Dime-Tolkin..Sometimes i Plee-n-Fiend 4 a Betta Job-n-Shit..
But theres Pirate's in the Sea-of-Dreams That'll Rob-ya-ship ("you can't do it")
Still Reality is Shanked-Into-Me..And my Fantasys are Planked-Into-Sea..
There's a Slight Drought when im Depressed-as-hell..i Don't Rest-as-Welll..
My Thoughts Crushed Bearin-tons..Sharin-none..Dreamin Big like "here-it-comes!"
Till it Never Shows up Like a Battle Rapper, i Dunt Care-it-s-Done..My Dream
Theres no Way 2 Compare-it-Son..'Reality n Dreams' u Can't Pair-as-One..
(WAIT!) i Remember this One Chick-From..School She Loved the Dick-Son...
Loved Ta Lick-Cum..N Make my Tip-Numb, She was a Dream-Come-True
Cause i Use 2 Dream-Of-Who?..The Hott-Lady!... one Day She told Me i'm her
Baby's POP-KRAZY!..Then Told Me da 'POPS-MAYBE"..i Hada COP HAZE B...
Pissd-in-Da-En..Inprisioned-Again..cause Lifes a Kick-in-Da-Ass..
But i'm Resistin-Ta-Fas..'Fed Lies'..Like a Agent-Gun'd-Down...
Till da 'Pool of Dreams' is Vacent-Sun-Down,right Before-i-Rest!...
i'm Thinkin im Poor-a-Mess.. And i'm Steady Wishing For-da-Bes...Den i Dream..
I Catch a Slight-Stare...At No Mice-Here...and i Got Million's on Flight-Here
In My palms..it's Reached dawn, i See Light-flare.. i Realize i'm Inprisiond by Reality, It's a Night-mare...
Last edited by Haz on Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Def-init
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nice

Post by Def-init »

Ayo, I felt that a lot.

"Awake my Dreams are Shackled-n-ish,Left deep in with Like Tackles-fa-Fish..
When aids Came i believed in Magic, why Can't i Tackle-a-Wish?!?!..
My mind has Me inprisioned,..Cold Walls in Wishin..My One Meal Reality was
Incisioned,Cut out the Picture a Caloge-Piece..Payin every Year under Gods-Lease "

Was really slick man. Look forward to reading more!
- If I can't bend Heaven, I shall move Hell. -
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Haz
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Post by Haz »

Thanks Alot homie.. i Appreciate The Feed..


Uppin..
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MagicMark
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Post by MagicMark »

yeah this was cool... though some of the multis where a little awkward.. it felt like some of the sentences had to to be written to have the rhyme at the end.. overall that was my only criticsm.. you have an unusally rhyming pattern.. but it works.. keep showin dem skills..
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i.Eat.Rappers
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Post by i.Eat.Rappers »

This was dope! id like to hear it audio though.



Awake my Dreams are Shackled-n-ish,Left deep with in Like Tackles-fa-Fish..
When aids Came i believed in Magic, why Can't i Tackle-a-Wish?!?!..




My Thoughts Crushed Bearin-tons..Sharin-none..Dreamin Big like "here-it-comes!"
Till it Never Shows up Like a Battle Rapper, i Dunt Care-it-s-Done..My Dream
Theres no Way 2 Compare-it-Son..'Reality n Dreams' u Can't Pair-as-One..
(WAIT!) i Remember this One Chick-From..School She Loved the Dick-Son...
Loved Ta Lick-Cum..N Make my Tip-Numb, She was a Dream-Come-True
Cause i Use 2 Dream-Of-Who?..The Hott-Lady!... one Day She told Me i'm her
Baby's POP-KRAZY!..Then Told Me da 'POPS-MAYBE"..i Hada COP HAZE B...
Pissd-in-Da-En..Inprisioned-Again..cause Lifes a Kick-in-Da-Ass..
But i'm Resistin-Ta-Fas..'Fed Lies'..Like a Agent-Gun'd-Down...
Till da 'Pool of Dreams' is Vacent-Sun-Down,right Before-i-Rest!...
i'm Thinkin im Poor-a-Mess.. And i'm Steady Wishing For-da-Bes...Den i Dream..
I Catch a Slight-Stare...At No Mice-Here...and i Got Million's on Flight-Here
In My palms..it's Reached dawn, i See Light-flare.. i Realize i'm Inprisiond by Reality, It's a Night-mare...



all that was tight. drop more of ya shit becuse im digging this. i aint gonna give feed because u came nice all around with it. you caught my attention in the first bar, and i like how u were creative with it. im liking these fuckers
My wins only rise...
While my losses stay the same
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Arvincible
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Re: Prisoner To Reality

Post by Arvincible »

Awake my Dreams are Shackled-n-ish,Left deep with in Like Tackles-fa-Fish..
When aids Came i believed in Magic, why Can't i Tackle-a-Wish?!?!..
________
great opener turban head, cudve incorporated magic and wish more but its ok..


..Sometimes i Plee-n-Fiend 4 a Betta Job-n-Shit..
But theres Pirate's in the Sea-of-Dreams That'll Rob-ya-ship ("you can't do it")

________
decent extended metaphor, multis were cool


Still Reality is Shanked-Into-Me..And my Fantasys are Planked-Into-Sea..
There's a Slight Drought when im Depressed-as-hell..i Don't Rest-as-Welll..

_____
first part was creative
and the second line...didnt like that part at all. hell well


My Thoughts Crushed Bearin-tons..Sharin-none..Dreamin Big like "here-it-comes!"
Till it Never Shows up Like a Battle Rapper, i Dunt Care-it-s-Done..My Dream
Theres no Way 2 Compare-it-Son..'Reality n Dreams' u Can't Pair-as-One..

__________
like ive said in the past...u need ur better part of the line to come in the end, not in the middle.


(WAIT!) i Remember this One Chick-From..School She Loved the Dick-Son...
Loved Ta Lick-Cum..N Make my Tip-Numb, She was a Dream-Come-True
Cause i Use 2 Dream-Of-Who?..The Hott-Lady!... one Day She told Me i'm her
Baby's POP-KRAZY!..Then Told Me da 'POPS-MAYBE"..i Hada COP HAZE B...
Pissd-in-Da-En..Inprisioned-Again..cause Lifes a Kick-in-Da-Ass..
But i'm Resistin-Ta-Fas..'Fed Lies'..Like a Agent-Gun'd-Down...
Till da 'Pool of Dreams' is Vacent-Sun-Down,right Before-i-Rest!...

_________________
full of multis man, but the irony in this was the flow didnt come off as rap but more leaning towards DC.


i'm Thinkin im Poor-a-Mess.. And i'm Steady Wishing For-da-Bes...Den i Dream..
I Catch a Slight-Stare...At No Mice-Here...and i Got Million's on Flight-Here
In My palms..it's Reached dawn, i See Light-flare.. i Realize i'm Inprisiond by Reality, It's a Night-mare...[/quote]


____________
good closer turban head.

Overall u need to work on the connection n delivery from the beginning to end of the bars

and ur multis are good already. no hate here, Keep it up fag.
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Haz
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Post by Haz »

Thanks Alot Fam.. i got Chu wid Feed..
Uppin
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Haz
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Post by Haz »

Uppin
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precise
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Post by precise »

niiice, u rode the topic very well, it was definately a great read, rhymes were on point, had a couple nice metaphores in there, the whole ship theme you carried for a bit was nice
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facin me? its mission impossible, like pickin up lesbian broads
fuck all these thespian frauds, they "bug me" like espionage
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Prit-E
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Post by Prit-E »

NICE FLOW BUT YA SPELLING MADE IT A HARD READ....LIKE THE CONCEPT..IMAGERY IS COOL...WORK ON CONNECTING EACH CONCEPT THOUGH..SOUNDED WEIRD AT TIMES LIKE IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE...
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Haz
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Post by Haz »

lol ok
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Cee4
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Post by Cee4 »

this was nioe Haz. flowed was perfect. the first half of the verse was straight fire. probably the best shit ive heard from u in a long time

My mind has Me inprisioned,..Cold Walls in Wishin..My One Meal Reality was
Incisioned,Cut out the Picture a Caloge-Piece..Payin every Year under Gods-Lease
Once i get in space,i Drift ina Black-hole, A star Never known To Lack-soul
When my Eyes shut, my Mind-opens..Burning Imagery Like i'm-Smokin...
Deseption is Dime-Tolkin..Sometimes i Plee-n-Fiend 4 a Betta Job-n-Shit..
But theres Pirate's in the Sea-of-Dreams That'll Rob-ya-ship ("you can't do it")
^^^
dope


the last couple bars were straight too. u finished the verse nice

the only thing that through me off was this bit

(WAIT!) i Remember this One Chick-From..School She Loved the Dick-Son...
Loved Ta Lick-Cum..N Make my Tip-Numb, She was a Dream-Come-True
Cause i Use 2 Dream-Of-Who?..The Hott-Lady!... one Day She told Me i'm her
Baby's POP-KRAZY!..Then Told Me da 'POPS-MAYBE"..i Hada COP HAZE B...
^^^
a bit basic but apart from that the verse was fine 8/8.5 outta 10
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