grass stains

[*.HarleQuin.*]

if u had a grade in life u'd get the perfect-score,

i dont like that line and it was full of simplicity
u need to make it more interesting, i also think
if u took out the annoying dash marks this coulda
been a great DC, dont type in that font anymore
either lol some of us are blind

[HKX]

dis shit was crack son nice drop my nigga keep them comin' nigga lol

[Arvincible]

Thanks for the feed guys I really appreciate it, I really zoned out on this piece, never edited, just kept writing..your opinions really help thanks.

im going to make new piece soon.


Uppin for more feed.

[Arvincible]

Thanks for the feed guys I really appreciate it, I really zoned out on this piece, never edited, just kept writing..your opinions really help thanks.

im going to make new piece soon.


Uppin for more feed.

[Cee4]

this seemed to get a shit load of feed so i thought id give it a look.

anyway this was good. nice concept and well executed. not feelin the font tho.

a lot of emotion in there and you expressed your feeling nicely

BUT

"chasin butterflies in the park"
^^^^
lol thats corny as fuck man but anyway good piece. not your best but no offense u havent been at your best for a while now imo 7/10

[Arvincible]

Ehhh I've moved more into multis and unique concepts when it comes to scripts, ill try to do better with my next one.

Thanks though

Uppin

[Haz]

I pray-to-just-quit cuz everything I love and live for just lays-in-some-ditch
I wish my life was easy and I can just get away-and-forget,
but my heart is racing but not for some play-from-a-bitch
I wasn't perfect ma and I thank you for even dealin-wit-me,
when I was weak, you were the shield-just-for-me
She was my life and the realest to me, u made meals-just-4-me,
and now I call God a hypocrit for stealin-my-queen
All the food you cooked and the dinners I'd request,



^^^ Dat Shit wus Jus.. Emotion Full.. executed Nicely..
Good Concept True Or Not..


I wish u lived forever, no one else deserved-it-more,
if u had a grade in life u'd get the perfect-score,
I don't know what else-to-say...
All the "I love you's" I wish I heard-it-more,
im sorry for all of this, I guess my heart's just hurt-and-sore,
^^^ Dat Shit Wus Da Nice Part Out Of Verse 2..


Da Lil Chorus Type Shit Wus Kool 2..

Anyways Good Concept..
U Executed it Nice..
Put Emotion Into Lyrics..

Good Shit

[Dynamiq]

yes, there were some good multies in here really liked the setups for the rhymescheme..dope strategy just keep up the good work and try to expand your imagery more..that will help in the long run..

[Arvincible]

thanks man