[fuck you and the lie you told me, 5 months down the drain fuck everything i said it don't mean a damn thing]
you brought me tears and pain as i look back and remince,
about how this whole love thing of our doesn't make sence
i moved on but it's hard to walk away
you're on my mind every second of the day
i keep on tellin my self i aynt trippen
but the pictures i keept flippen(of us)
then i quit all this crazy ass crap
but you came runnin right back
draggin me right back in
to this stupid shit again
i guess i was blinded by this thing called "love"
[fuck you and the lie you told me, 5 months down the drain fuck everything i said it don't mean a damn thing]
i do miss you holding me, our sweet talks and you holding my hand
days and weeks went by then the lies started and thats what i didn"t understand
so i kept tellin my self it's not true but then i saw you with her
so i left with out sayen a word
walken away with tears runnin down my cheeks
fellin sorry for the next bitch he meets.
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*uc* You
Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend
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Re: fuck you
WOW, THAT NGGA IS A GONER...LOL
NICE!
NICE!
- Alvin
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Re: *uc* You
Meika, not a bad piece. Nice emotion. I would focus some on structure though.
Another thing, Never, please, NEVER, title anything a cuss word. Thanks.
Another thing, Never, please, NEVER, title anything a cuss word. Thanks.
- Deception
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Re: *uc* You
Not bad, raw emotion was there try to increase line length with more content, try using basic imagery to pull the reader in, also spell check drops I'm not a good with grammar infact I'm dyslexic but spelling mistakes fuck up the flow and throw readers off, just a heads up
Peace
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Peace
[ Post made via iPod ]


Re: *uc* You
This was coooool....a well used topic but you handled your own on this...the hook was cool...u kept a cool little flow going which made it seem interesting..overall a cool little piece
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[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZtAQQh- ... re=related[/video]
- MonuMental
- Hairy Scoundrel
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Re: *uc* You
This was pretty good, Big Meik. I'm glad you're starting to be more open with your outlet for expression. Keep doing you.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]
[/center]
[center]
[/center]
[center]
[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]
[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]

[center]

[center]

[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]
[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
Re: *uc* You
very nice i liked it, i agree about more focus on structure but it was real good
i write alot about love so i can relate to what ur saying

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