Bout A Girl I Knew..

[$hayne]

Back In The Day It Was Jus Me And You.
Laughin' Is How We Would Stay Jus Bein' True.
But Shit Always Changes In One Way Or Another.
We Broke Up, You Started To Hang With Ya Other Lover.
Now I Heard That You Gotta Daughter Today.
And You Thought The Father Would Stay?
But Instead He Jus Got Outta The Way.
He Put Out His Love Like Water To Flames.
Cuz He Doesn't Want The Daughter You Claim.
Ya Can't See Clear And You Dunno What To Do.
So Much Tears Cuz Of What He Put You Through.
But You Gotta Cheer Up And Keep Ya Head High.
Cloudy Skys Always Clear Up Then The Sun Shines.

[Momeijah]

it Was Pretty Good n Flowed Perfect Lol. Less Multis in This. as i Said Before Make it Seem Less Umm 'Flat'. What i Mean is Dont Just Make a Line For Something Then Move Onto The Next Part Of The Story, Like ur Rushin 2 Tell, Basically Throw Ya Feelins into it And Dont Hold Back Lol, Describe Shit Etc. But i Liked it. And Overall it Was a Decent Drop, Keep it Up

[precise]

decent, i think what domino means is to like, use more adjectives, adjectives are good to set an atmosphere kinda, rhymes were very basic

keep workin on it, peeace

[Stina]

awl =/
man thats a fucked up situation right there.


"And You Thought The Father Would Stay? "
.. didnt like that line as much, needs another word or somethin to stick with the flow.


"He Put Out His Love Like Water To Flames.
Cuz He Doesn't Want The Daughter You Claim. "

-- best line imo. all in all - i liked it :]

[Lawgix]

yeah dude this was a pretty decent drop... lyric wise it wasn't all that but keep workin on that n multies n like precise said adjectives... i liked these few lines

Now I Heard That You Gotta Daughter Today.
And You Thought The Father Would Stay?
But Instead He Jus Got Outta The Way.
He Put Out His Love Like Water To Flames.

all in all decent drop man keep it up!!

[|.R.SON.aLL.|]

Flow Was Decent ..
i Wish it Was Stretched Out Long Though ..
Like a Story Or Sumptin` ..
Lol .. Yeah Tha Multies Koo` ..


Now I Heard That You Gotta Daughter Today.
And You Thought The Father Would Stay?
But Instead He Jus Got Outta The Way.
He Put Out His Love Like Water To Flames.
Cuz He Doesn't Want The Daughter You Claim.

^^ .. Best Piece Out Of Tha Verse ..

[8th]

You need to put a link.

http://illestlyrics.com/board/important ... t2163.html