Happy Clown In The Mirror

[Spoof]

This is a poem I wrote few months ago. So it's pretty old lol but give me sum feedback pls. The structure is a bit weird (and the whole poem acctually) but I like it that way.

White eyes, twisted face, wide smile, so dismayed
Jaw says crunch when it dislocates
You get wider smile when it's not in it's place

Black tear on his cheek, the clown in the mirror
No smiles no cheers, he ain't no hero
Black blood is flowing out of his earholes
Dear old weirdo hanging on a rope

His hands are sawed off, decaying beside him
He's trying to stretch out his head to see what I'm writing

You use to be happy, chubby-cheeked clown
Look at you cocky, old chap now
Your nose is scabby and your hair is charred
Put few more namenotes into the "Funny Games"-jar
Who's gonna play with the happy man today?
Pick up a name from the jar, it says "Little Jake"
Happy clown's makeup is cracking away

You took him into your room, oh how egregious you are
Is this how you think you'll heal your childhood's scars?

You were an effeminate man, using your momma's high heels
What a sick old man waited for you behind that Ford's wheel
I wrote him in too, I made him wreggle like an eel
I ripped his back with hot steel until he kneeled

Now sad clown, let's test your fear factor
Cus now the Scaremonger writes the last chapter
Maybe I'll skin you or make you choke on your own puke
Don't cry funny clown this is what happens to men like you
If I write you in, then you won't get out
Here comes my pen dear clown,ya can scream out loud

[-TraMaTiK-]

never really read somethin like this..it is pose ta be like a 2sided poem?like the clown looks into the mirror and see's whats in his mind..but then everyone else looks at him as the 'other side of the mirror' all happy n shit?idk..juz wonderin cuz this was pretty hot i loved the whole thing...we ougghta do a collab sum time get @ me --1--

[Spoof]

yeah suttin like dat lol thanks for tha feed, looking good hell yeah, collab sounds good!

upping for more feedback!

[LadieHazard]

Now sad clown, let's test your fear factor
Cus now the Scaremonger writes the last chapter
Maybe I'll skin you or make you choke on your own puke
Don't cry funny clown this is what happens to men like you
If I write you in, then you won't get out
Here comes my pen dear clown,ya can scream out loud

Yooo them lines was fire i kno where u at in this poem its hott yo Keep Dropin

[Spoof]

aight thanks for tha feed sis, much appreciated

keep it coming people!