Hip Hop Forum

Memories

Thought the only way to stop memories is as a weed and drink consumer//

I tryto dissolve memories in that acid solution//

rapid confusion as the coffin refuses to de-evolve when buried deep.it holds me captive,just losin//

Strapped to the gruesome-ness ,problems consumes us//

When i see if its gone then,thats when the coffin covers my mind//

Cant breathe,no breath for long as the air is not in the design//

feel weak,still stressed ponderin ,not stoppin on my death bedz time //

The embryo grew to a fetus ,the fetus left the womb //

She was scared and abused,pushing it out tearing her tissues//
Never~ knew,that as she reminisced,a better ~view barracaded with sick news//

Enter~ woes ,thought she dreamt -this- twist that let ~her~ lose,lost
cuz a dick bruised//

Her heaven~ moved,if only she never step -in- rich `ness of the better ~dude her mind would live good//

Let the baby go cuz she hated its father//

created a harder life,mistakes just haunt her mind//i relate to her darker sight//cant see the road ahead,all the light is behind//

Makes me start attacking the blackness like a samurai//

Once i `ve played my tactics and the habits died,//

Blood on the floor,bad hits as the innocent fell in my fight //

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:03 pm --



-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:04 pm --

Il add my links to feed i left juzt now

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:38 pm --

www.illestlyrics.com/board/frightened-vt-24722.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/a-ser ... 23866.html

not bad man, its nice to see you try and improve on the structure. The story was pretty cool, saw some minor attempts at presentation with the - - shit, and it was alright, would have been nicer to see those multies through out the netire pice... keep posting man, welcome back

some good ish bro, nice imagery...

I liked the story and although I found it a little difficult to follow at times, it was worth the read. Welcome back, I hope to see more from you soon.

[ Post made via Android ]

Yeah, I agree with Glam on this one. A few times it threw me off, but nothing really off setting, it was a refreshing lil piece. Nice to see some emotional content here, always takes the mind back. Stay up.

you got the talent for good bars and the ability to choose the write words to draw emotion...

i think you just need to spend more time editing and refining your lyrics and structure so everyone can read the full effect of a perfected piece

Thanks for the feed yall

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Pretty decent content. Was a lot easier to follow than paragraph form. Some of the lines were basic but overall, it was a step up.

I wrote this at my weakest.wrote this after 15 days cuz of grade 12 exams..so thats why it aint as deep and tight as i like to gett

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

The flow threw me off a few spots in the first half but I really liked the flow in the second half. Good choice of words in this piece, too. Created some strong imagery and emotion.

[ Post made via Samsung Epic ]