Memories

[Jsteel]

Memories

Thought the only way to stop memories is as a weed and drink consumer//

I tryto dissolve memories in that acid solution//

rapid confusion as the coffin refuses to de-evolve when buried deep.it holds me captive,just losin//

Strapped to the gruesome-ness ,problems consumes us//

When i see if its gone then,thats when the coffin covers my mind//

Cant breathe,no breath for long as the air is not in the design//

feel weak,still stressed ponderin ,not stoppin on my death bedz time //

The embryo grew to a fetus ,the fetus left the womb //

She was scared and abused,pushing it out tearing her tissues//
Never~ knew,that as she reminisced,a better ~view barracaded with sick news//

Enter~ woes ,thought she dreamt -this- twist that let ~her~ lose,lost
cuz a dick bruised//

Her heaven~ moved,if only she never step -in- rich `ness of the better ~dude her mind would live good//

Let the baby go cuz she hated its father//

created a harder life,mistakes just haunt her mind//i relate to her darker sight//cant see the road ahead,all the light is behind//

Makes me start attacking the blackness like a samurai//

Once i `ve played my tactics and the habits died,//

Blood on the floor,bad hits as the innocent fell in my fight //

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:03 pm --



-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:04 pm --

Il add my links to feed i left juzt now

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:38 pm --

www.illestlyrics.com/board/frightened-vt-24722.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/a-ser ... 23866.html

[Alvin]

not bad man, its nice to see you try and improve on the structure. The story was pretty cool, saw some minor attempts at presentation with the - - shit, and it was alright, would have been nicer to see those multies through out the netire pice... keep posting man, welcome back

[ILLoKWENT]

some good ish bro, nice imagery...

[Glamtrash]

I liked the story and although I found it a little difficult to follow at times, it was worth the read. Welcome back, I hope to see more from you soon.

[ Post made via Android ]

[MonuMental]

Yeah, I agree with Glam on this one. A few times it threw me off, but nothing really off setting, it was a refreshing lil piece. Nice to see some emotional content here, always takes the mind back. Stay up.

[NeverOddOrEven]

you got the talent for good bars and the ability to choose the write words to draw emotion...

i think you just need to spend more time editing and refining your lyrics and structure so everyone can read the full effect of a perfected piece

[Jsteel]

Thanks for the feed yall

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[JDR]

Pretty decent content. Was a lot easier to follow than paragraph form. Some of the lines were basic but overall, it was a step up.

[Jsteel]

I wrote this at my weakest.wrote this after 15 days cuz of grade 12 exams..so thats why it aint as deep and tight as i like to gett

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Kau the Lion]

The flow threw me off a few spots in the first half but I really liked the flow in the second half. Good choice of words in this piece, too. Created some strong imagery and emotion.

[ Post made via Samsung Epic ]