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circle in the sun

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Defiance
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circle in the sun

Post by Defiance »

standing lifeless watching the slow rotation
as the pavement sizzles roasting locations
as soulless nations watch me rise and fall
as i revolve around the emptiness that the sky involves
i try to stall but the movement is elemental
gripping a pen and pencil feeling my potential
smoking menthols as i peer down at the worlds around me
alone in the dark as they whirl around me
a pearl sits soundly amongst the dirt and dust
but these jerks and fucks keep fucking it up
but still i sit silently in the glaze of the foreground
these people war bound so i'm dropping my sword down
before now i was worshipped as a king
so i'm waiting for 2012 to see what the storm brings
the phone rings, its god but he refuses to listen
the bruises of fission twitching has got me itching
so my mission is live until my light burns out
cause i'm weightless with emense weight and no firm ground
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- Mutual -
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by - Mutual - »

Man this wasnt a bad drop, the mutlies are nice and a not bad vocabulary to kick with it but i think the flow maybe was a little bit choppy in places and somethings put it off like the double around me part, i saw what you tried to do though with the world/whirl bit, but maybe that is just me, keep dropping though
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
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leeroi green
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by leeroi green »

i like this a lot i would only take out "as" from your 3rd and 4th line i like the message oh and the "but still i sit" could go without the but, but then thats just my opinion and i'm being nit picky with that keep droping this type of ART
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Defiance
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by Defiance »

upping this shizzle
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TreTru
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by TreTru »

this shit is dope...i like the flo and rythm..i caught on
to it..the vocab was niice..not overdone..thank god..that
tends to happen alot in the multi game..but you held it together kept it relevent imo...good shyt..

fyi i thought this was a keystyle to me n P's song circle the sun...either way shits fire..imo
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Kause mc
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by Kause mc »

i like this shit maan props. i wanna hear it to a killer beat tho! would be sick!
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EcKsTaSy
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Re: circle in the sun

Post by EcKsTaSy »

good spit..one
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