Hip Hop Forum

Disain wrote: The hatred, dark walls, dried red painted
led waitress, for your death waited
i'm wasted, talent like the walk to sacred
Dark tunnel with a train blocking the light entrance
the pictures you painted here are awesome, i like how you were able to eliminate the useless words like "the" "and" etc. So getting to the point was fluent.
In trance, like lucid dreams of the dark past
building blocks, but sand dries up fast
Math rocks, but they kill from inside class
Could i see the light again, at last?
Nice poetic feel to it, your consistant with getting to the point which is comendable in a piece like this. This would go nicely as some spoken word in my opinion, dramatic pauses and all.
Picturation of hemingway, i'm making truth
Fixing patients with sharpened spears,
murder is the only proof
Winning makes losing cool
well now this reads like complete poetry. your last line is pretty nice man.
Currents flow and water cools
metals blow and winners lose
Logic exists for killing creativity at best
Social standards make you lose, to fit the rest
Your last bars are the strongest which is good for a conclusion based idea. I definitly dig the last line the best, which is how it should be. A line to say and drop the mic kinda shit. Nice drop man.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/talki ... ml#p166750
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/for-t ... 21500.html
Thanks for posting links man, and following the rules