You can find all of the left over carcasses here. A section of the site that is not for the faint of heart. Many bodies have been mutilated over the years.
Due Date:
December 32nd, 1999
---------------------------------
Ahem...
I’m cold hearted like the steel in my right palm/ “Kill the bitch, make her feel me, rotten dot Com”// I pace my exhale, scope on target, butt in arm/ “Look for the blond, red purse, then Salaam”// Load at the signal, he’ll wave, then he’s gone/ “Execute my EX, so she does everything but scream"// Double tap through the chest or a lethal routine?/ "Make her suffer, make her part of the gutter stream"// Your wish is as real as your money can yield/ "Slowly and as painful as possible then ill reveal"// I take my last exhale, he exits, her present sealed/ Safety's off, it hits the pastry soft skin and bursts// "That was perfect, look at her bleed, it's all worth..."/ Everything stopped as I realized the truth and flung off// Racing down the building to verify the purse that I bought/
My Soles soiled in the pool of blood, but I'm seeing more than red// "That was an excellent shot, she's realizing I did this, almost dead"/
My Blood boiled, the outcome I never thought just shot in our heads// "you never asked us what the name was, you're nuts off its thread"/
I place it to your temple, pull the trigger, so the last thing I see is led//
[right]Good luck chick... lol[/right]
Last edited by Alvin on Thu Apr 07, 2011 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Perched upon a buildings rooftop, call it my second home/
Hand me ends or gold,...name the targets and catch me splittin' domes//
No friends or foes, a loner, so I lead a selfish life/
Where money equals everything, so even death is priced//
I get the clients message,..."she's on her way, blonde, short hair"/
Already prepared, I keep my sight on the exit, *she's almost there*//
I don't care what she's done to deserve this, it doesn't matter/
A few more moments and a single bullet will make her brain splatter//
She's out in the open, I aim at her,..."wait 'til she faces you, then hit her right between the eyes"/
Calmly, I exhale and squeeze the trigger, I see the ending of her life//
*Wait...a brunette???*, it was a wig she was wearing/
A hole thru my sisters head, I couldn't stop staring//
Stunned, but I couldn't be less caring, see.../
an assassin too, she was paid to kill and without asking who,...she kept my fiancee from marrying me//
Family woes, I never had the others' backs/
No remorse for taking the life of a sibling for this selfish life I'm living...so I pack, and start walking back to collect my other half...//
[ Post made via Mobile Device ]
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down!!!
First, can I say that I was impressed with how both of you brought your pieces to the table? I read both once before going thru this breakdown, and Ive felt you both deserve one, as these might be some of the illest topicals I have seen in ahile. Seriously.
(YES, my vote counts cuz they know I vote fair for anyone that wants to discredit anything)... Anyhow...
K Pan da Man-
I’m cold hearted like the steel in my right palm/
“Kill the bitch, make her feel me, rotten dot Com”//
I pace my exhale, scope on target, butt in arm/
“Look for the blond, red purse, then Salaam”//
Load at the signal, he’ll wave, then he’s gone/
“Execute my EX, so she does everything but scream"//
Double tap through the chest or a lethal routine?/
"Make her suffer, make her part of the gutter stream"//
Your wish is as real as your money can yield/
"Slowly and as painful as possible then ill reveal"//
I take my last exhale, he exits, her present sealed/
Safety's off, it hits the pastry soft skin and bursts//
"That was perfect, look at her bleed, it's all worth..."/
Everything stopped as I realized the truth and flung off//
Racing down the building to verify the purse that I bought/
My Soles soiled in the pool of blood, but I'm seeing more than red//
"That was an excellent shot, she's realizing I did this, almost dead"/
My Blood boiled, the outcome I never thought just shot in our heads//
"you never asked us what the name was, you're nuts off its thread"/
I place it to your temple, pull the trigger, so the last thing I see is led//
Your flow is on point, no doubt. I feel you could have put some more multi's in it to help your flow some, but in a piece like this it didnt hurt it much... I liked the imagery ALOT, and how you started each line with a word that spelled something out. Its creative, although I have done that before, but you worked it out really smoothly. The story itself is really cool, but ALMOST given away too soon... Not saying that in a bad way, but I could see it coming, you know? Great topical piece nonetheless, and you worked with it really well, creative wise.
Aumnie you in the face-
Perched upon a buildings rooftop, call it my second home/
Hand me ends or gold,...name the targets and catch me splittin' domes//
No friends or foes, a loner, so I lead a selfish life/
Where money equals everything, so even death is priced//
I get the clients message,..."she's on her way, blonde, short hair"/
Already prepared, I keep my sight on the exit, *she's almost there*//
I don't care what she's done to deserve this, it doesn't matter/
A few more moments and a single bullet will make her brain splatter//
She's out in the open, I aim at her,..."wait 'til she faces you, then hit her right between the eyes"/
Calmly, I exhale and squeeze the trigger, I see the ending of her life//
*Wait...a brunette???*, it was a wig she was wearing/
A hole thru my sisters head, I couldn't stop staring//
Stunned, but I couldn't be less caring, see.../
an assassin too, she was paid to kill and without asking who,...she kept my fiancee from marrying me//
Family woes, I never had the others' backs/
No remorse for taking the life of a sibling for this selfish life I'm living...so I pack, and start walking back to collect my other half...//
Man, your flow got so choppy at the end. Im sorry but that really disappointed me because you were telling the story so well dude. I thought your imagery and idea for the piece were very creative too. Nicely done. Other than the choppy flow at the end, you had everything that he did, minus a little more creativity (building his words with the first letter to mean something)...
BOTH of you guys could have tied a wordplay bar in there somewhere I think, or maybe even two since this had gun references involved. Otherwise, I was really impressed with the work from both of you on this one. I liked how each angle was worked, and how each person brought their different style of delivery to the table. All in all it would be a tie, except for two things... K Panda had a little more creativity in his verse especially with the beginnging letters in each line added in and still making it work very nicely, while his flow didnt get choppy either. Omni, this is definitely your BEST topical piece written, and I would like to see more with this mentality brought to the tabel my friend. Great job on both parts though, and worthy of recognition, no doubt.
Multies-omnie
Flow-omnie
Imagery- K Panda
Creativity- K panda (the I.k.I.l.l.e.d.m.y.s.I.s.t.e.r. this was sick especially for a text battle)
Wordplay-tie
Storytelling-omnie
Overall tho MVGT- K Panda
His overall 'execution' of the topic played out better.
I liked both, but personally I think the topic sucked. Not the concept itself, but just the fact that you both had to confine your pieces to follow a certain storyline. I think as an artist, creative thinking is what makes one better than the other...and since you both had the same basic ending, there wasn't a whole lot of room for creativity. It was more-so just the way you executed your pieces.
I feel like Omnie had some more imagery in his piece and it flowed relatively well. K Pan had better structure but I think the overall execution of his piece was what made it stand out. If I hadn't read the topic and already known what was going to happen, it would've been a great piece. Just based off of the concept of encoding the hidden message in the first letters of each line (Not that it's anything new, I used to do it in poetry during high school...but the way it intertwines with the story and doesn't actually give away the message is great)
So honestly I thought it was close...the wig thing was a great twist from Omnie, but I think overall I preferred K Panda's piece
Good job on both sides. Just wish I didn't already know the endings to each story based on the topic
My psychologist tells me that I suffer from serious delusions of sexual grandeur. I think she just wants to fuck me
