Sunshine! (feedback)
Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 8:12 am
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91RpF0ZmVJo[/video]
So bring out the sunshine,it's bright when some rhyme/
i got the punchlines when it comes to crunch time/
i'm hot like summertime, i give ya sun burn/
rhymes ill teach ya some of mine but how do the dumb learn/
come crashing down to earth like a meteor/
climb my way out of the dirt like a bettle or/
an arachnid, the kid everyone want to rap with/
well that is if the even knew he could rap shit/
but instead hes slept on like a matress/
so he just gets the matches and lights the fat bitch/
untill its hotter than he is, and he is/
so hot that its hard to freeze shit/
but still he goes unnoticed/
he stays frozen, but it aint cos he rhymes the coldest/
its cos know one knows him/
he so pro shit but he got know one to flow with/
but thats okay he sits in his head with his imaginary friends and a world that ever ends/
each friend as smart as he and endless fantasy/
of birds bees tress and even dragons if you please/
and he does please, he feels such ease/
he feels THE breeze, so lovely/
cos they love me and they trust me/
they dont cuss me they dont shove me/
he's in complete control, no gatekeepers toll/
to pay if he wants to enter tha gates/
and the breeze is cold but the ice will scold/
fire frozen over he skates like its a lake/
he can walk on the sun he can dance on the moon/
but why walk when you can fly on a spoon/
He can drive through the water he can swin through the sand/
cos in his world there is no such thing as land/
he's a one man band, an eagle with fangs/
on the cover of of a magazine covered in fake tan/
on tv sings his song the all wavin there hands and afterward he thanks his fans/
doesnt go back to no transit van or no cheap motel/
its 5 star only or his peeps will get hell/
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/open- ... ml#p163624
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/justice-vt20717.html
anywayz its not done but hopefully you can tell what im goin for here. just realy working on trying to paint pictures and tell stories.
feedback plz.
So bring out the sunshine,it's bright when some rhyme/
i got the punchlines when it comes to crunch time/
i'm hot like summertime, i give ya sun burn/
rhymes ill teach ya some of mine but how do the dumb learn/
come crashing down to earth like a meteor/
climb my way out of the dirt like a bettle or/
an arachnid, the kid everyone want to rap with/
well that is if the even knew he could rap shit/
but instead hes slept on like a matress/
so he just gets the matches and lights the fat bitch/
untill its hotter than he is, and he is/
so hot that its hard to freeze shit/
but still he goes unnoticed/
he stays frozen, but it aint cos he rhymes the coldest/
its cos know one knows him/
he so pro shit but he got know one to flow with/
but thats okay he sits in his head with his imaginary friends and a world that ever ends/
each friend as smart as he and endless fantasy/
of birds bees tress and even dragons if you please/
and he does please, he feels such ease/
he feels THE breeze, so lovely/
cos they love me and they trust me/
they dont cuss me they dont shove me/
he's in complete control, no gatekeepers toll/
to pay if he wants to enter tha gates/
and the breeze is cold but the ice will scold/
fire frozen over he skates like its a lake/
he can walk on the sun he can dance on the moon/
but why walk when you can fly on a spoon/
He can drive through the water he can swin through the sand/
cos in his world there is no such thing as land/
he's a one man band, an eagle with fangs/
on the cover of of a magazine covered in fake tan/
on tv sings his song the all wavin there hands and afterward he thanks his fans/
doesnt go back to no transit van or no cheap motel/
its 5 star only or his peeps will get hell/
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/open- ... ml#p163624
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/justice-vt20717.html
anywayz its not done but hopefully you can tell what im goin for here. just realy working on trying to paint pictures and tell stories.
feedback plz.