From "Statue Of An Angel"

[trubblecleff]

the greatest trick the devil ever did
was makin the world think that he didnt exist
injectin dementia in a childs potential
livin like a ballad of wild instruementals
the violence plays like violins
in his heart they left scars
and his heartbeats a bassline
for a surround sound death march
gangsta slangin bangin ebonics
phoenetically hes fucked
genetically hooked on chronic
gin and tonic
gettin fucked up from the gut up
till hes sick and vomits
wishin mama wouldnt party so much
quit bitchin mama
open ur heart and show some love
so what we broke as fuck
r clothes is tore up
r cabinets is empty and u constantly ignore us
sposed to love n protect
but u dont do nothin for us
what the fuck made u think u could afford us
shit we'd be better off if u just went and aborted us
cuz now we gotta pray everyday
just to see the sun
done been so long i dont think jesus gon come
but on the dresser under the lamp next to the gun
theirs a statue of an angel expressin heavens love

[MOEstradamus]

your structure is getting better your flow is pretty good a few choppy parts. nothing really stuck out to me just keep dropin try using more multis and punches in your rhymes even metaphors just remember practice makes perfect