Evolution vs Qwarterzone (Topical Battle)

[Ambiguous Realm]

10 bars (if u drop a little less or more that's fine with me)
first to 5 explained votes(3-0 = K.O., 4-1 = T.K.O.)

Topic: Apocalypse (not the X-men character)

Due Jan. 5th , 11 PM EST.



if you want anything changed in this let me know... other wise check in so i know its all good

[QwarterZ]

aight this sounds kewl just checkin' in

-- Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:47 pm --

maybe....a lil' later then the 4th tho'...the 5th sound good....not the drink either

-- Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:32 pm --

k...this is off the top cuz I almost forgot about this.....*ahem*

it's like this....

The world supplies will see downfall and folly
all will disappear and appear all that is godly
bells shall toll and oceans shall part and volcanoes erupt
animals will run wild and the good will become corrupt
children will be sacraficed as the only food source
men and women will war over reproduction and whose course...
shall move forth, sources tell me that nostradamus was wrong
written the psalms, the palms and the stars witnesses will become lost
call it the rapture, where angels disperse and correct evolution
disputin' over correction, inspection will further fuel restitution
the screws that group us will loosen and we will run mad
come back shall the demons, leavin' hearts slayed upon impact
gasoline fields will engulf the plantations leavin' us with nothin'

in fact

I don't know...LoL! peace

[Ambiguous Realm]

damn this was posted too, i never noticed, i'll get to this and menace's battle shortly, been busy as hell lately

-- Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:35 pm --

would've dropped more since it was 10 bars but i'd figure i'd just match it..topic was too easy n boring so it wasn't worth any more.. n e ways..should do this again.. different topic though, and shorter


This earth has turned to rubble, Soon the ground will break and shatter,
Then the surface burns n crumbles, and the sound of waves will gather,
The Moon sailing in a distant has struck the few in space,
And soon aliens will visit to abduct the human race,
The world is cleansed again, as it's showered by the flames,
In life we've sensed the end, yet an hour still remains,
Tears of pain seem to weep, deep into the broken core,
As the rest of us sleep, beneath the ocean floor,
Flooded from the impact, we're drowned by more than sorrow,
Now I hear eternal silence.... that's the sound of no tomorrow,

[Def-init]

The world supplies will see downfall and folly
all will disappear and appear all that is godly
bells shall toll and oceans shall part and volcanoes erupt
animals will run wild and the good will become corrupt
children will be sacraficed as the only food source
men and women will war over reproduction and whose course...
shall move forth, sources tell me that nostradamus was wrong
written the psalms, the palms and the stars witnesses will become lost
call it the rapture, where angels disperse and correct evolution
disputin' over correction, inspection will further fuel restitution
the screws that group us will loosen and we will run mad
come back shall the demons, leavin' hearts slayed upon impact
gasoline fields will engulf the plantations leavin' us with nothin'

Nice, raw, poetic, just bustin with substance.
I am feelin that for sure. It came off like
you were describing a vivid dream more
than putting random ideas together and making them rhyme.
It made me feel like I was actually there witnessing the 'end'.
By far the best piece I have read by you.




This earth has turned to rubble, Soon the ground will break and shatter,
Then the surface burns n crumbles, and the sound of waves will gather,
The Moon sailing in a distant has struck the few in space,
And soon aliens will visit to abduct the human race,
The world is cleansed again, as it's showered by the flames,
In life we've sensed the end, yet an hour still remains,
Tears of pain seem to weep, deep into the broken core,
As the rest of us sleep, beneath the ocean floor,
Flooded from the impact, we're drowned by more than sorrow,
Now I hear eternal silence.... that's the sound of no tomorrow,

A great use of multies and rhyming, more so then Qwarter
But to me a topical is more about substance than any other factor.
Your piece comes off as rushed and gives the
impression you just weren't feeling this topic and focused
more on rhyming than anything else.
It does have a poetic feeling to it. Which I like, but it just
wasn't enough to give you the win.

My vote is for Qwarter.

[Riggz]

I almost agree with Def, however, Ev appeared to use a few meta's in there, where is QZ was a bit more elmentary in my opinion.. I like topical battles where you have to dig deep into what their saying. Here's my break down. (Obviously this was a closer battle than we thought):

QZ
The world supplies will see downfall and folly
all will disappear and appear all that is godly
3/5 (Revelationisk…. Ok opener)
bells shall toll and oceans shall part and volcanoes erupt
animals will run wild and the good will become corrupt
(2.5/5 Why don’t you just re-write this for St. John? LOL, Where’s the metaphors for a topic like this, experiment QZ)
children will be sacraficed as the only food source
men and women will war over reproduction and whose course...
(2.5/5 you lost me on the last part “whose course?”)
shall move forth, sources tell me that nostradamus was wrong
written the psalms, the palms and the stars witnesses will become lost
3/5 not bad set up could’ve been better also, you appear to be swaying a little)
call it the rapture, where angels disperse and correct evolution
disputin' over correction, inspection will further fuel restitution
2.5/5 (The rapture by it’s nature cannot correct evolution, should one believe in such fallacy it would merely be an escape)
the screws that group us will loosen and we will run mad
come back shall the demons, leavin' hearts slayed upon impact
3/5 Nice multi
gasoline fields will engulf the plantations leavin' us with nothin'
off line, no grade
16.5/30 – average topical

Ev:
This earth has turned to rubble, Soon the ground will break and shatter,
Then the surface burns n crumbles, and the sound of waves will gather,
(3.5/5 very nice opener, not quite sure that’s how it will happen tho)
The Moon sailing in a distant has struck the few in space,
And soon aliens will visit to abduct the human race,
(2.5/5 – nice multi, but where the hell are you going with the alien part????)
The world is cleansed again, as it's showered by the flames,
In life we've sensed the end, yet an hour still remains,
(4/5 – very nice and sounds a bit more accurate from what I’ve studied)
Tears of pain seem to weep, deep into the broken core,
As the rest of us sleep, beneath the ocean floor,
(4/5 – excellent metaphor between tears/ocean)
Flooded from the impact, we're drowned by more than sorrow,
Now I hear eternal silence.... that's the sound of no tomorrow,
(3.5/5 loved the ending but you’re being too kind to the inhabitants… p.m me and I’ll give you both a good end of world book to read.)
17.5/25 (missing a bar but even rounded out Ev scored higher that QZ)
QZ, try adding more metaphors to your topical maybe add in some word play… you can get some real vocab in topical areas.
Vote - Ev