Hip Hop Forum

[align=center]i was walking around like everythings funs and games
shouting out a bunch of names!..shouting your a bunch of lames!
..all yall do is stay locked up..all day...
everytime i try to enter there's a blocked up Hall way!..
i ran into hazard as he was waaaalkin by me!...
sweat running down his face but he was talkin lively!...
walked by a store..got by a door..And he said LETS STOP!...

Opened Up ..

"Welcome To The Sweat Shop"
Where Dood's Regret Lots , Dreams Come To Dead Stops ..
And You Know The Dead Rots ..
The Sweat Shop ..
Where Know One Likes To Chidda Chat ..
Cause We Put So Much Work In But Get Little Back!
Deriddle That ..
Crowds Are In An Oblivin..
Cause There Oblivious ..
To The Situation We're Rilly In!..
Welcome To The Sweatshop
We're We Spend Days N Nights..
Never To Praise The Fight..
Shined On By a Few Rays Of Light
Potrayed As Bright.. People
But Evil Lerks Around The Way We Eat!
Seen As Workers..But Really Slaves Beneath
We Pray 4 Sleep..We're We Don't Fuss And Move Around..
Cause What's AFloat Is Zoomin Down...
Even The Moon Is Bound..To Fall
That's The State Of Mind ..
We Hate The Signs ..
Of Goin Into 'One Big Hole' Like The States Combined..
Ideal's Bubble But Earnings Deflate The Mind ..
That Now Hold's A Trait Of Mimes ..


To Be Continued ..[/align]

ima get @ this after i spark up

damn bro thats sick. im feelin that poetic style too if you can flow that good enough that could be a crazy audio. not many punches or clever wordplay, but it had alot of clear meaning behind it.

def gona check out part 2 lol

.. i Liked This Piece ..
It Was Pretty Koo ..
Another Side Of U Yet again ..
But Mah Favorite Part Where U Described Tha State Of Minds ..
That Was Pretty ill ..
How Even Tha Moon Could Fall ..
Nice Read ..

yeah this had a dope flow
dope vocab in there and the poetic flow
was great sumin differnt from what u normally do
i liked this piece u shud audio it
keep'em comin

You're really experimenting with your writing style, and it seems to be working out to your benefit. Good shit kid. Keep it up.

Ay Thanks Everyone ..
There's More This Is Actually For a Audio ..
And It's About US! .. We're In The Sweat Shop .. Workin So Hard Yet Gettin Shit Outta It ..


Thanks For The Feed I Got All Yall With Feed ..

Crowds Are In An Oblivin..
Cause There Oblivious ..
To The Situation We're Rilly In!..
Welcome To The Sweatshop
We're We Spend Days N Nights..
Never To Praise The Fight..
Shined On By a Few Rays Of Light
Potrayed As Bright.. People
But Evil Lerks Around The Way We Eat!
Seen As Workers..But Really Slaves Beneath


flow was smooth thru out..good visual and story tellin..overall was a dope piece..i was feelin the flow and content on that part up there..keep it up..Pz