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Sweatshop ( Sample )

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Haz
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Sweatshop ( Sample )

Post by Haz »

[align=center]i was walking around like everythings funs and games
shouting out a bunch of names!..shouting your a bunch of lames!
..all yall do is stay locked up..all day...
everytime i try to enter there's a blocked up Hall way!..
i ran into hazard as he was waaaalkin by me!...
sweat running down his face but he was talkin lively!...
walked by a store..got by a door..And he said LETS STOP!...

Opened Up ..

"Welcome To The Sweat Shop"
Where Dood's Regret Lots , Dreams Come To Dead Stops ..
And You Know The Dead Rots ..
The Sweat Shop ..
Where Know One Likes To Chidda Chat ..
Cause We Put So Much Work In But Get Little Back!
Deriddle That ..
Crowds Are In An Oblivin..
Cause There Oblivious ..
To The Situation We're Rilly In!..
Welcome To The Sweatshop
We're We Spend Days N Nights..
Never To Praise The Fight..
Shined On By a Few Rays Of Light
Potrayed As Bright.. People
But Evil Lerks Around The Way We Eat!
Seen As Workers..But Really Slaves Beneath
We Pray 4 Sleep..We're We Don't Fuss And Move Around..
Cause What's AFloat Is Zoomin Down...
Even The Moon Is Bound..To Fall
That's The State Of Mind ..
We Hate The Signs ..
Of Goin Into 'One Big Hole' Like The States Combined..
Ideal's Bubble But Earnings Deflate The Mind ..
That Now Hold's A Trait Of Mimes ..


To Be Continued ..[/align]
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Lotus
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Post by Lotus »

ima get @ this after i spark up
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Lotus
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Post by Lotus »

damn bro thats sick. im feelin that poetic style too if you can flow that good enough that could be a crazy audio. not many punches or clever wordplay, but it had alot of clear meaning behind it.

def gona check out part 2 lol
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|.R.SON.aLL.|
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Post by |.R.SON.aLL.| »

.. i Liked This Piece ..
It Was Pretty Koo ..
Another Side Of U Yet again ..
But Mah Favorite Part Where U Described Tha State Of Minds ..
That Was Pretty ill ..
How Even Tha Moon Could Fall ..
Nice Read ..
[align=center]Image
.. it`s S.a.W Bitches ..
.. Niggas ain't Fuckin Wit Tha Team ..

JayGUNNa
RELL FiaSCO

aRViNCiBLE
SCiP
MiiLZ

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- Mutual -
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Post by - Mutual - »

yeah this had a dope flow
dope vocab in there and the poetic flow
was great sumin differnt from what u normally do
i liked this piece u shud audio it
keep'em comin
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
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Glamtrash
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Post by Glamtrash »

You're really experimenting with your writing style, and it seems to be working out to your benefit. Good shit kid. Keep it up.
Haz
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Post by Haz »

Ay Thanks Everyone ..
There's More This Is Actually For a Audio ..
And It's About US! .. We're In The Sweat Shop .. Workin So Hard Yet Gettin Shit Outta It ..


Thanks For The Feed I Got All Yall With Feed ..
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Karnage
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Post by Karnage »

Crowds Are In An Oblivin..
Cause There Oblivious ..
To The Situation We're Rilly In!..
Welcome To The Sweatshop
We're We Spend Days N Nights..
Never To Praise The Fight..
Shined On By a Few Rays Of Light
Potrayed As Bright.. People
But Evil Lerks Around The Way We Eat!
Seen As Workers..But Really Slaves Beneath


flow was smooth thru out..good visual and story tellin..overall was a dope piece..i was feelin the flow and content on that part up there..keep it up..Pz
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