Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Open Ocean

Expand your artistic ability through poetry and story telling. Poetry has been given new life ever since the inception of hip hop. Relax for a minute and explore your poetic side here.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Kuhlerblynd, Glamtrash, Borat

Post Reply
User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Offline
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Open Ocean

Post by Borat »

His parents always told him the worlds an open ocean
If you miss the miss in motion, there's sure to be more floating
Or so he's hoping.

Beneath the surface, he searches
For a deeper purpose, still swimming after women
He's yet to see it's to see its worth-less

Perhaps he'll pause, wade… wait for a wave with-in the waves
Of chicks, heading to the shore, so convinced, there's something more,
He's that body of water they don't wanna get in,
Not scared of the surface, just worried of what's
Swimming within him,

But until they remove their snorkels and see,
He'll chill towards the floor of the sea,
With friends of his own league,
Waiting for his “1â€
User avatar
Prit-E
Rookie
Offline
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 1:14 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0

Post by Prit-E »

this is an interesting structure and concept..something different...creative....i wanna see more.
Glamtrash
Poetic Juggernaut
Offline
Posts: 1498
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:42 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Location: Where the Treetops Kiss the Stars

Post by Glamtrash »

You started strong, and then started to lose it. You did gain it back though, it just took a bit to get there. Good job. I think you could do really well with poetry. Keep droppin.
Post Reply

Return to “The Poet's Stage”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest