Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Past The Bs. Ft. Twist

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
complexity
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 9701
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
Wins: 48
Losses: 15
Location: Maine
Contact:

Past The Bs. Ft. Twist

Post by complexity »

Twist on the first verse.

Ayo, Bitch ass niggaz rappin about nothin,
sayin they down but they jus frontin,
Runnin round with glockz n akz gettin sprayed ,
While dez niggaz runnin round with crack gettin played
Actin like they a g in tha game,
Talkin that shyt with fear in they voice tryin to get fame,
Itz an intellectual battle of wits,
No nigga startz out in tha ritz
Mentaly tired and lyricaly retired,
hatin on niggaz i once admired,
copy real niggaz jus tryin to be fia
Tryin to clear my head from all these distrations,
caught a nigga wit a copy n paste shoulda seen hiz reaction
Blastin Pussy niggaz all day n night
but im only one nigga n im losin tha fight

or two of us got these dudes nervous
I've always prefered perfect vertics
my verses refered by mcs n herbs
calculated wordsmith whose unnourished
balancing logic like turn tables
whats worst is I'm unstable
work with the same mcs who burn labels
a guns fatal, murders is not a sickness
what you believe in is not your convictions
i spit what the encylopedias missin
so stop n listen, like pediatricians
half these emcees are dropping fiction
like steven king, with no personalities
as if their genre, involves no originality
I can even sing, got a writers mentallity
the reality is, the fake cds are climbing charts
they forgot rhyming arts, when they were tots
now their minds blocked, from real thoughts
ever since my parents bought a rated pg cd
from the shop, they made it easy for my creativity
to take off, it was crazy, I stayed off the block
that these writers chalk, so hate me greatly
I'm a figher locked to write like Jay Z
the "mind frame of the emcee" became me
I was brainy before rap, mainstream like borat (cult class)
and with logic Ill bring peace like a war act
one problem I do have when dropping
a fueled rap for these rappers coffins
is when dudes act like they a part-in
send me cartons of cigs with them lies
cuz your starting a hypocritical enterprise
Image

Check out our Vapes for great prices.
User avatar
drunken jesus
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 4549
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:55 am
Wins: 12
Losses: 1
Location: Atlantis
Contact:

Post by drunken jesus »

first dude was wack, his vocab really needs some work cause it looked like he was struggling just to rhyme one syllable

your verse was good, i would've wrote it a lil different though some of the schemes are ill and some are choppy and farther apart so it doesn't really have a consistant rhythm, overall it was a solid verse though
Respect this, specialist, black, testing this and get ya necklace jacked
Your after name scratched up off my guestlist, party freak
You the type of nigga that'll hardly speak unless you spoken to
You throw a cold screw but sober up when I'm approaching you
At the same time we postin two niggaz on that ass
Thats gonna do what they supposed to do the limelight
Snatched away from you because its my night
Killarm' blaze hotter than twilight, you better get ya lines right
Half of these crabs cant even rhyme right
[Killa Sin]

Image
User avatar
B-Bear
Rap Assassin
Offline
Posts: 696
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:47 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 1
Location: Bergen

Post by B-Bear »

yeah, i agree. the first verse wasn't much. it had one line i like though

Mentaly tired and lyricaly retired,
hatin on niggaz i once admired

complex, u just continue doin u're thang. dope as always homez. i thought it started out pretty sick, then dropped a bit, before u round it off tight, all in all a tight verse!
User avatar
complexity
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 9701
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
Wins: 48
Losses: 15
Location: Maine
Contact:

Post by complexity »

alright. killah, thanks for the feedback

Yah. Take into consideration we wrote this in about 10 minutes

Thanks bbear for the feedback,
Image

Check out our Vapes for great prices.
User avatar
Lawgix
The Aphilliated Assasin
Offline
Posts: 4214
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:25 pm
Wins: 14
Losses: 8

Post by Lawgix »

i liked it, the first verse was alright but i liked complexities a lil more when he did this part of the verse

half these emcees are dropping fiction
like steven king, with no personalities
as if their genre, involves no originality
I can even sing, got a writers mentallity
the reality is, the fake cds are climbing charts
they forgot rhyming arts, when they were tots
now their minds blocked, from real thoughts
ever since my parents bought a rated pg cd
from the shop, they made it easy for my creativity
to take off, it was crazy, I stayed off the block
that these writers chalk, so hate me greatly
I'm a figher locked to write like Jay Z
the "mind frame of the emcee" became me

good job man
Don't Let The Game Make U, Make Urself

Lawgix

Illest Radio

Image

"Sometimes You Gotta Stand By Your Failures To Recognize Your Success" Joe Budden

pest wrote:You look Easy... Whats Good?
AntiMaTTer wrote:lmao ...is this how you hit on all the chicks?
User avatar
complexity
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 9701
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
Wins: 48
Losses: 15
Location: Maine
Contact:

Post by complexity »

half these emcees are dropping fiction
like steven king, with no personalities
as if their genre, involves no originality
I can even sing, got a writers mentallity

That part sucked, the flow was lost.

Eh but thanks. Check my other piece please.
Image

Check out our Vapes for great prices.
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests