Song Without Chorus(First Post)

[2Complex]

Chemical viles of intelectual styles
So sick to death, they still sittin in trials
Patterned tiles, of a flow so wild
Burn the atmosphere, pure heat never mild
Lyrical sensation, sparks revelation
Words based off more than presentation
In a time in need for restoration
Time for me to teach-the-nation
President, now a black man's occupation
No longer can complain, bout what we facin
Sittin on pavements, no longer a technacality
you stay insane, I'm livin in reality
And stand at the east of the outer portals
Body on time limit, but my soul's immortal
Killin me? there ain't no stoppin me
I'm an oximoron like hydropathy

No Chorus

Spits like this, i drop with ease
I opened my door, you done dropped the keys
Takin me out the game is like choppin trees
Take ya breath away(breath)bring him back please
Status above average, i'm an onomoli
King tuts conundrum, aint no solvin me
You See the wins in my record stay charmin peeps
Funny cuz dese dudes think they harmin me
My flow so killa it'll rock the atlantic
Destroyin wannabees with ego's like the titantic
Worked hard in life, neva had the advantage
Lyrics blazin thru leavin streets in panic
Heart of a lion, brains like a ferret
Runnin through tracks in a style too barbaric
Can't compare it, to these wack mc's
Call me an animal, wait til i unleash the beast

No Chorus

I'm hypnotic, brain supersonic
got you hooked on me, like hooked on phonics
Runnin things, like my name was e-lec-tronics
After this verse, you will be a-ston-ished
CUz i scare the U.S. like Arabian Fights
and tell the tales of the past like Arabian Nights
You walkin around wearin ya casual tee'
well my flow wears the faces of casualties
So i suggest you lace up ya sattle b
And run on home, you don't wanna battle me
But if you up to it, you will be slain
pop you soon and have you singin outta toon like T-Pain
Now who's chopped and screwed(SLow)
Yeah, i'ma chop ya crude
The feelings mutual i can't be beat
Complex, just complexily murdered this beat
See Ya!!!!

No Chorus

Complex-"Yo this was sick, wonder how they feel about dis"(echo"diss")

[2Complex]

CAn i get some feed please

[2Complex]

Can i get any kind of feed, i'm 2complex from hiphop ave(which is now closed), is this site that dead?

[complexity]

Can i get any kind of feed, i'm 2complex from hiphop ave(which is now closed), is this site that dead?

"Chemical viles of intelectual styles"

Nice opener, here is mine.

Overall, your style is pretty fluid, the vocabulary, and rhymes are tied together nicely.

This particular song didn't have the most clear direction, but I didn't expect it to after the first verse, so that is what it is.

I found that the second verse was the most consistent of the three and had the least played similes or senseless lines that took away from this piece.

"I'm hypnotic, brain supersonic
got you hooked on me, like hooked on phonics "

^^played

Heart of a lion, brains like a ferret

^^the first analogy is better

Call me an animal, wait til i unleash the beast

^no

Destroyin wannabees with ego's like the titantic

^nobody would find correlation between titanic the movie and egos besides if they have seen the movie and possibly the cast had egos? The movie is over ten years old, nobody will get that.

pop you soon and have you singin outta toon like T-Pain

^no

I didn't find much wrong with the rest, you can see where you lack skills in my opinion, in an essential part of your game, but the easiest to improve.

Before you make a reference, be sure that not only is it original or has its own twist on it, but think about someone elses perspective. What will they think of the rhyme? Will they get it?

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/gener ... 11127.html

^read that

I see a lot of elevating coming in your future. You have a solid game around the edges and to a non-critic you might even be dope, but I am a critic, and you're not that dope yet. Keep it up.

[2Complex]

thanx for the feed

[- Mutual -]

yeah was pretty good
pretty short lines but flowed well
fluidly flowed well
nice multies n shit
keep'em comin

[Mac]

Word, It Flowed Very Well Together And Aside From The Played Lines, It Was Pretty Solid. But Like Plex Said, You Gotta Kinda "Rap dumb", It's Alight To Be Complex With Your Flow But When You go Over Board With It Some People Won't Understand And Lose Interest an Not See Your Illness As A Artist.

Over All, Good Piece. Stay At It.

Welcome To Illest Lyrics.