2nd verse The Wake Up Call

[B-Bear]

u feel it in ya sneekers, u'll feel from tha speakers
the flames burnin up the dancefloo
i'ma lean back like fat joe
and let the ladies do what they're made for
poppin that bootie like a basketball
but don't pop it if ya ass-is-too-small
like the texas hold em, u either pass-or-call
and u wrong if u think the task-is-too-small
underestimate the bear and hear ya casket-call
I'll never fall, got the attitude of a grizzly
I'ma fuck up any dude tryin to fizz-me (fist me)
Diss me, and be honoured with the kiss of death
A deadly uppercut, that'll take ya breath
Send u straight to the devil down under
He create the lightning and I do the thunder
And u can start wonder, what the hell happened
While I'm doin the rappin, u get the slappin
And before I'm wrappin this shit up
I want u to remember, what I told ya
a soldier go to heaven, a coward to hell
And my ticket to heaven, u remember?
that's the one u can't sell

What ya'll think?

[Street Pharmacist]

hmm...the lean back like fat joe shit is played out..other than that it was ok..

[Khan-Verse]

it was straight, keep it up.

[complexity]

This showed some good potential man. Like the texas hold em line, seems you have a good grasp of comparisons. And that could really help you put together some dope verses. As for this verse like i was saying up there. I liked the creativity. The concept kinda sucked though. And there was lots of fillers. The flow was alright. 8/10. Keep doing your thing and elevating.

[B-Bear]

thanks, appreciate feedback;)

u say elevate, on which areas do I have the largest evelating possibilites? vocab? mulities? flow?

if u could gimme a sort lead, i'd be grateful;)