New verse

Stratosphere · Post by **Stratosphere** » Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:32 am

Nowadays ... rap cats is all about the fame /
They all about that brand new Range and gold chains /
But me ? I'm more about political change /
Plus my raps attack the molecules in your brain /
Absorbed in your mental ... then thru your dental /
Make teeth chatter like shattered back windows /
Or 'Crack' like a backhand slap from Kimbo /
On You-tube videos ... click drag info /
Hop in the back of the black tint limo /
I'm 'ol school ... only one track on the demo /
In fact ... anytime I rap to instrumentals /
I freestyle before I grab the pad or the pencils /
And rock over beats what's supposed to be /
An eye opening look at poetry /
Your one and only chance of knowing me /
Socially , lyrically , and emotionally /
I put my heart in e-v-ery verse, e-v-ery line /
E-v-ery chorus and melodious rhyme /
Over 'Split' and 'In-line' mixer designs /
Lyrically I'm like Jay, a year into his prime /
Just now I produce my own shit and own it /
I wrote the rhymes, made the beat and sold em /
Stomped my opponents, took the bar and rose it /
So keep your eyes closed and your mind wide open /

Arvincible · Post by **Arvincible** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 10:48 am

That's a decent flow man, im surprised no ones left u any feed, but good job on this, a good intro to show ur skill level. Some good multis here and there, u could be a very versatil writer with this style, u just got keep it up.

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 3:37 pm

Yeah Keep It Up Like Arvincible Said Other Then That Decent Drop But Don't Want To Give Your Self Away On Your First Drop Keep Doin' Your Thang Pimp

Brah-Vo · Post by **Brah-Vo** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 4:40 pm

refer to post below/

-TraMaTiK- · Post by **-TraMaTiK-** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:02 am

even tho u were a dick to me and a few others ill let that slide seeing how im gonna TRY to help ur un-educated ass and leave feedback that helps..anywaayy

first off the slashes dont need to be after every line,if it helps u then i guess ppl gotta deal with it,but really its unnecessary.

ur flow seems alright for the most part,dunno how u spit it tho weather its fast paced or not so i cant really judge it that much.this is kinda basic tho,had some decent vocab in there. a few good multis thrown around there too

kimbo lines been played out tho dude.

"On You-tube videos ... click drag info / "

??^^ why wud u even mention that in'a verse,seriously?

u went from talkin about how rap cats talk about fame,chains and etc
then u turn around and talk about youtube videos?lol come on now. u cudda just left it at 'slap from kimbo' im sure 90%of this site knows or is aware of him.

didnt like the end much cuz it seemed u just left us hangin. try doin topicals to keep a grip on one topic at a time then venture off ya kno?

Kurse · Post by **Kurse** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:47 am

Well Tramatik...

personally I think this is the worst shit that I've ever read and that he should take it to another site.

Nah but truthfully, it's not bad, but you can't be goin around leavin niggaz feed like "This is the worst thing I've ever heard" and shit like that. If you're going to be brutally honest with someone, tell them where you think they need improvement. Try to help guide them to an elevation point, don't just say negative shit and give 'em an "F"
...be part of the growth, not hate.

Brah-Vo · Post by **Brah-Vo** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:45 am

Im not really sure, but were you callin me whack? in the feed u left me?
Like i aint callin this piece whack. but theres room for improvement.
I mean you can deffo improve if u just stay on ya game.
But yeh. Aint tryna start beef or nothin. But aint no need to act like a hard ass on the net if u cant really back it up.

EDI: Seeing as you give me blunt feedback. I'll do the same.

YOUR on some other type of shit. I mean it was decent but u act like ya ass above all of us.
So before u call a dude whack, look at ya self.
Take that plank out of ya own eye.

|.R.SON.aLL.| · Post by **|.R.SON.aLL.|** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:50 pm

Man ..
Tell Me You Juss Started Writin?
Cus This Shit isn't Even Better Than Raiza`s Bars (No Diss) ..
But For You To Talk Bout His Shit Bein Grade C ..
When Yo Shit Failin at Tha Lowest Percent ..
Lol, No Disrespect But Man Step it Up ..

Arvincible · Post by **Arvincible** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:27 pm

did i miss something?

- Mutual - · Post by **- Mutual -** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:22 pm

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/twili ... 10242.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/no-name-vt10240.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/debut ... t9537.html

there's prolly more but this is what i've seen

it's the type of feed he's leavin on evrybody
read his feed ARV you'll see

Omega Bill · Post by **Omega Bill** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:29 pm

How bout you get the fuck up outta here. Leavin everyone horrible feed besides Kurse and Complexity.

How's it feel to have a dick shoved so far up your asshole you have cum dripping out your nose?

Fuck outta here before you get run off.

Ambiguous Realm · Post by **Ambiguous Realm** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:18 pm

it was alright, nothin great, personally i found the "e-v-ery" thing u did pretty retarded but watever works for u lol, i like how a few things u said were somethin more oldschool.. kinda like i heard it before, didn't like how u went from talkin bout political change and then was talkin bout you tube videos and black tinted limos, n e ways.. i'd give it a 2/5 considering i've seen worse

HKX · Post by **HKX** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:40 pm

yo dis shit wasn't bad it was decent man u got i like dis line a lot

In fact ... anytime I rap to instrumentals /
I freestyle before I grab the pad or the pencils /

dats shit dat i do i always gotta free 2 an instrumental b4 i write matter a fact half of da shit i record is mainly freestyle and sum of da tracks on here r free's keep droppin man shit was nice

New verse

New verse

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