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[Subsist]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/some- ... t9167.html


its all planned to take matters out of our own hands
an old clan that stands to make the world their own land
religions makin gangs of hoodlums and taking stands
but man, this cant be the way things are handled
we stand against an oponent unharmed by soldiers
and as we get older we'll never behold that
our blood is getting sold for gold and all that
they feed us more crap to blind us off facts
of economic attacks to control nations' banks
and agents dispatched to hold information back
whiped our minds blank as we're smoking their crack
we're trapped, in a bubble of religious acts
infact, they kill us through terrorist attacks
then make it look like we're the cause of death
fill our hearts with hate so we want each other dead
while they continue plans for a world government
we live a constant lie every day we spend
left out of reality like fuckin aliens
its time to step up and show them who's boss
and draw some lines that no one will cross

[Haz]

we live a constant lie every day we spend
left out of reality like fuckin aliens
^ Wasnt Feelin Dat Line Sub..


its all planned to take matters out of our own hands
an old clan that stands to make the world their own land
religions makin gangs of hoodlums and taking stands
but man, this cant be the way things are handled
we stand against an oponent unharmed by soldiers
and as we get older we'll never behold that
our blood is getting sold for gold and all that
they feed us more crap to blind us off facts

^^ Thought The Begginin Wus Kool.. Liked Da Off Facts Shit..
& ya Build Up To it..



Thought The Endin Could Be Better...

Its Good U Back in Da Scripts..
Adds Some Diversity...

7/10...

O Yeah Get A Link...

[Subsist]

yeah you're right. the last 2 bars were kind of forced and off the top.

thanks haz, added that link.

[- Mutual -]

well some pretty good lines
nice flow the endin was a bit weaker than the beginning but over all i liked it pretty much
7.5/10

its all planned to take matters out of our own hands
an old clan that stands to make the world their own land
religions makin gangs of hoodlums and taking stands
but man, this cant be the way things are handled
we stand against an oponent unharmed by soldiers
and as we get older we'll never behold that
our blood is getting sold for gold and all that
they feed us more crap to blind us off facts

My Fave Bit ^
keep'em comin

[Panama]

hmm I like the theme... but I think you need to work on makin your lines flow together better, try using more multies and inners.....

But this was pretty decent.. I think I can agree with a 7/10...

[Subsist]

thanks guys

[precise]

good message, simple rhymescheme but it flowed nice, the beggining bar was a nice opener


but man, this cant be the way things are handled
we stand against an oponent unharmed by soldiers
and as we get older we'll never behold that
our blood is getting sold for gold and all that

^^^^^this part here tho i dunno, i see the rhymes uve got in the middle of the lines to at least make it flow like "older" and "soldiar", but ya rhymed "that" with "that" lol


anyways i enjoyed reading it, for the most part it was simple, but definately still nice