Phobophilia

[Glamtrash]

Let me put this in layman's terms. I've gone through three hours of tests and exams and the basic answer they've come up with is that I'm a hypochondriac. Meaning, whenever I hear of a new phobia, I get it. What I want to say is that I'm frustrated on three levels: First is that they think they're right, second is that they think they're the first one to come up with this hypothesis, and third is that they're putting themselves above me and classifying me to make themself feel better. They think that I;m a hypochondric and that any fear I hear of, I get. I'm telling you I'm not a hypochondriac, and that I fear so much because that's me.

Do you want to know what I'm afraid of? Of course you do. How 'bout in alphabetical order? Let's see....Well, I'm aichmophobic, fear of needles, so I take all of my medication orally. Algophobic, fear of pain, so I'm jumpier than a cat. I'm basophobic, fear of walking and falling, so I travel by wheelchair. I'm carcinophobic, fear of cancer, but then again, who isn;t? I'm claustrophobc, fear of confined spaces, but this custom made apartment seems to fix that. I'm climacophobic, fear of falling downstairs, so this place is flat as a pancake. I'm leprophobic, fear of leprocy, but again, who isn't? (sigh) I'm misophobic, fear of contamination by germs, so this place has more air filter than a sillicone laboratory. I'm Ocnophobic, fear of vehicles, so I've never been in one. I'm ophthalmophobic, fear of being stared at, so I only talk to two people at a time through this computer. Some people say that I'm soteriophobic, fear of dependence on others, but being locked in this apartment, I've really no other choice, have I? I'm thanatophobic,fear of dying, but so is every adult. And finally, I'm topophobic, fear of stage freight, so you know I've rehearsed this. I'm agoraphobic, fear of open, crowded spaces or leaving my apartment, so I'm terrified of going outside. While at the same time I'm autophobic, fear of being alone, so I'm terrified of the oppertunities that I'm missing out there. And don't think that because I'm always alone that I don't have dementophobia, fear of insanity, which again, I can't do anything about. You are now thinking that I'm panophobic, and have a fear of everything, when really I'm polyphobic, and have a fear of many things. Now because I'm agoraphobic, which again is the fear of going outside, I haven't been out in eight years. I've been in the apartment completely alone and have only two umbillicals: My food line which is delivered once a week, care of the second umbillical, the internet, which is the only proof of my existence.

So far, that's eighteen fears that I've listed, but don't worry, there's a dozen or so more. Now i've wated three hours of my sorry life getting tests to not only show something that I've already heard, but something that isn't even right. I'm not a hypochondriac, I really do have these fears. They say I have them because I want problems in my life. That I want attention, sympathy, or whatever,..That I have problems just to have them. I'm telling you, I have these fears because I have what is called phobophilia: A love for fear. I love it. I not only love it, i crave it and need it and want it so bad. I just can't get enough. If you think I want attention, I ask you, who's attention? No one has been in my apartment for eight years, so I'm not getting anyones attention but my own. So why do I fear? I fear because I have phobophiia, a love for fear.

[Arvincible]

wow thats pretty intense.. how do you get to work? are there anything wrong with your legs? not intending to offend you ok? but since those are so crazy im trying to imagine how you live ur life, so since you dont get into cars are there other ways of transportation for you to get around?

[Glamtrash]

lmfao you can't really think that this is about me.

TO CLARIFY (because apparently I need to)

I found a list of phobias, and went to town creating the most fucked up woman I could think of.

[LadySam]

lol at first i thought you were talking bout yourself, but as i continued, i didnt think so.

[Arvincible]

lmao ooohhhhhhh

[Momeijah]

Lol im Glad i Read This While Blazed.

[drunken jesus]

you posted a bunch of useless personal bullshit to people you don't know and you're not looking for attention?

how about you're just agoraphobic(sp?) + hypocondriac? agoraphobic based on the fact that you actually remember all those fears meaning your more concerned about knowing yourself than other people and hypocondriac based on the fact that you actually thought their was something wrong with you to the extent that you actually wanted to know what could be wrong with you when you've previously stated doctors are useless

so if you really thought doctors were useless, you would either have to be really paranoid or really self centered to want to know, so hypocondriac/agoraphobic is the best fit

by the looks of it you typed an essay with random paranoid delusions and looked up the coolest explanation you could find and posted it so people would think your more interesting so your posts would seem more worthwhile to read, the average iq on illest is in the mid 80's tops so big words probably turned people off so if the plan was having people read all that it failed

theres probably a better term for what i mean than agoraphobic but i got a rare disease called idontlikelookinguprandomwordsillonlyeveruseonceaphobia but in the end your ok with me your posts are more interesting than most because you don't try to fit in as much as the rest of the random illest users that pop up

[drunken jesus]

nvm you don't type that well, you obviously found a cool big word and wanted to share it so you found a random article from some useless net-site or vice versa

my diagnosis is probably still right though

[Omega Bill]

the average iq on illest is in the mid 80's tops so big words probably turned people off so if the plan was having people read all that it failed

Don't sit there and toot your horn, thinking that you're King Shit. Your stereotypes are not only played out, but their ignorant. You think someone is an idiot because of the way they type when they're making a diss verse? Or battle verse? Just because they can't incorporate bigger words does not make them inferior to YOU or ANYBODY else.

Jump off your high horse. Also, quit attention whoring by taking a shit on anything that someone posts. You're not as original as you think, that stereotypical e-hard ass moniquer is over-played. So is the elitist. So I think you need to find a new bag.

[Glamtrash]

Orrrr....It was a random monologue. Not that I feel the need to justify myself to you, as you flame simply for the sake of flaming. But you know I'm more of a writer than a rapper, and guess what? I don't just write poems. You know this if you read my badass play. And, since I was bored, I felt like writing something. I hadn't written a monologue since high school and so I figured fuck it, why not? So, of course, as thought processes tend to go, my next thought was, "What will this monologue be about?". As I'm pondering this thought, I'm also watching a ahow on hypochondria. So, BAM, that's what I choose to do it on. Simple, right? So I google up a list of phobias, and here we are.

However, I tend to forget that some people are just fucking stupid, and take everything they hear/read at face value. And some of you conceived the idea and actually thought I was some germaphobic hermit twit. Obviously, you've not paid attention a damn thing I've written all year, because we've gone over this. I'm a cleaner for fuck sakes.

Anyway, I'm in far too much pain and too tired to continue, but grow the fuck up etc, and don't believe that everything you read/hear is based on real life shit. Remember The Game?

[drunken jesus]

lmao, another knight in rusted armor, its cute that you've finally developed a backbone but place your rant where it belongs in the thread(s?) where i insulted you, double fl's a big girl, so big she probably actually understands why i type what i type better than you do, so i doubt that she cares for your fabricated chivalry

the average iq on illest is in the mid 80's tops so big words probably turned people off so if the plan was having people read all that it failed

Don't sit there and toot your horn, thinking that you're King Shit. Your stereotypes are not only played out, but their ignorant.

i say what i think, being honest is a bad thing? i'd rather have somebody tell me what they think than have them tell me what they think i want to hear, i'm not going to be nice for the sake of being nice, i'm not going to sugarcoat everything i say that could be viewed in a negative tone cause i don't care if peoples feelings get hurt by what i say because if they do they didn't understand my motive or logic

You think someone is an idiot because of the way they type when they're making a diss verse? Or battle verse? Just because they can't incorporate bigger words does not make them inferior to YOU or ANYBODY else.

... ok? give me a specific example of this cause usually if i'm telling somebody something about the way they type i'll say it makes them look like an idiot, i don't call them an idiot, why would i bother telling them it makes them look like an idiot because i think they're an idiot? its counterproductive cause an idiot is going to type like an idiot reguardless, i tell people they type like an idiot because i'm guessing they're actually smarter than they project themselves to be

Jump off your high horse. Also, quit attention whoring by taking a shit on anything that someone posts. You're not as original as you think, that stereotypical e-hard ass moniquer is over-played. So is the elitist. So I think you need to find a new bag.

lmao attention whore? if i was an attention whore i'd probably be posting in more than 1-2 threads a day, just because i'm more cynical than most doesn't mean i'm an elitist or a e-hard ass, i would have to brag, i don't brag or place myself on a pedestal, you just assume i do because i'm overly critical, i don't imply that i'm better than others, i imply that others can better themselves, you dislike me because i can justify being cynical meaning i have a reason to be cynical

i'm one of the most productive people on here, i help people out because i'm humble and not self centered and because i'm honest people actually ask me for help

[drunken jesus]

Orrrr....It was a random monologue. Not that I feel the need to justify myself to you, as you flame simply for the sake of flaming. But you know I'm more of a writer than a rapper, and guess what? I don't just write poems. You know this if you read my badass play. And, since I was bored, I felt like writing something. I hadn't written a monologue since high school and so I figured fuck it, why not? So, of course, as thought processes tend to go, my next thought was, "What will this monologue be about?". As I'm pondering this thought, I'm also watching a ahow on hypochondria. So, BAM, that's what I choose to do it on. Simple, right? So I google up a list of phobias, and here we are.

However, I tend to forget that some people are just fucking stupid, and take everything they hear/read at face value. And some of you conceived the idea and actually thought I was some germaphobic hermit twit. Obviously, you've not paid attention a damn thing I've written all year, because we've gone over this. I'm a cleaner for fuck sakes.

Anyway, I'm in far too much pain and too tired to continue, but grow the fuck up etc, and don't believe that everything you read/hear is based on real life shit. Remember The Game?

by you don't type that well i was referring to how it was formatted, you nor anybody else really posts in formatted paragraphs, if i was going to insult your writing skills for the fuck of it i would actually try to write my thoughts properly rather than in run-on sentences with bad punctuation

you assumed i took what you wrote in face value, then criticized me after taking what i wrote at face value, people thinking you didn't write this should be more of a compliment than a diss, theres no specific indications that you wrote this, only people that know you well would know you wrote this and its not from your perspective

you know people don't know you well, as do i, so me originally assuming you wrote this lengthy monolog with alot of personal info for people to get to know you better was completely logical