Someone Help Me

[-TraMaTiK-]

well heres a song i finished writin and i definetly am recording this one,but i just wanna lil feedback iz all..and not 2 get u confused this isnt about me,its based on'a true story that my friend told me recently she went thru and still goin thru..so its from a girls perspective which wuz kinda hard but i think it came out ok..lemme kno

verse1:
i thought i wuz
loved by mom n daddy
until one day me
tom n bradley
got split up
it wuz really sad see
stuffed in the basement
iz where they had me
i wuz only seven
with tears streamin
not knownin that
id spend years screamin
gettin hit with shit
belts n spoons
wishin that the pain
wud melt real soon
but the minute i
had felt the wounds
it wuz a bump a welt
like a ballon
i wuz beat by
the minds of tyrants
parents who had me
confined to silence
starved at night
designed with violence
as time went on
i cried ever since
bein a kid i didnt
kno it wasnt healthy
no one wud hear me say
'someone help me'

Chorus:
someone help me
relieve the stress
back then i didnt
believe this mess
pretty damn hard
2 convieve it yet
cuz i wuz left alone
ta bleed ta death
[say twice]

verse2:
the beatins got worse
i wuz smacked in the face
thats why i hated goin
back 2 my place
i wud get beat
for NOO reason
left out in the
cold my toes freezin
slapped till i
felt my nose bleedin
tryna reach out
4 a father figure
but i hurd "dont
even bother with her
chill out,the next few
nights are mine"
i knew then id have
no light'ta shine
i wuz afraid of
human affection
opened up 2 a
few men 4 protection
hopin id find
some tranquility
even with the darkness
still in me
no one sees or
no one cares
that the moon iz out
the sun aint there
i need all this
damn pain'ta end
please

Chorus:
someone help me
relieve the stress
back then i didnt
believe this mess
pretty damn hard
2 convieve it yet
cuz i wuz left alone
ta bleed ta death
[say twice]


3rdverse:
i wake up justa
scream n pray
knownin that the tears
still stream but hey
u kno everything
still seems astray
memories fill
my dreams'ta day
even with my friends
i have'ta huddle
i hate bein close
or asked'ta cuddle
so i let my tears
splash in puddles
as i lay in
the arms of angels
who's soft n sweet
charm'll mangle
evil or ne harm
that strangles
me,into depression
so i guess its
really a blessin
not 4 long its
poundin in my head
wishin i cud be found
in the ground dead
i hope someone listens
in this town i said
dont make me go
thru it nemore
please ill do anything
that u ask for

Chorus:
someone help me
relieve the stress
back then i didnt
believe this mess
pretty damn hard
2 convieve it yet
cuz i wuz left alone
ta bleed ta death
[say twice]

[Arvincible]

its more like a poem from this perspective, but i dont get something,
If you do this in audio, wouldn't you be the girl when you rap it?
i mean its nice, but i just don't get how u can pull it off.

[Ambiguous Realm]

i get wat ur sayin.. not necessarily being her but seeing wat she see's from her point of view and then using it's urself or she's speaking thru ur words


overall i liked it, seems poetic like arvincible said.. i could pick up the flow easily like one of those ll cool j love songs lol, i liked the transitions used in it as well it made it real smooth to flow, good shit