Rappers now a days, pist-this-kid, to slittin-wrists, fists-get, forced to-ribs, of-course, this morbid-kid, will store-a-hit, making storms-of-shit, hit, like there aint no "fans" near to witness-it. already clear of witnesses, shots-from-sniper-rifles, got-the-hyped-up-rivals, lost-like-forgotten-bibles,stopped from pit-falls like being 8th floor high-with-un-wanted-idols,grab stance and fight you, snap hands ignight you, thats the only way ya gang, could "toss-up" pain-and-flames, change-range-and-maime,sure its somthin to be felt, so oppenents come with a name-change-and-claim, they got pride back, but shits still its under my-belt.
Most kids wouldn't give 2 shits and thats just to be honest/
Dimwits i get 3 shits so just stand and astonish//
Im not an empty promise, im an artist, without an accomlice/
at my calmest, im using emcee's as an arm-rest//
One of the hardest, smartest Emcee that targets/
competitions of knowledge, a lethargic, carcus, knifed by the sharpest//
tell me what style you like... feed would be nice.
Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
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switched up...
Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend
- psych-tech
- Rookie
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 2:27 pm
- Wins: 0
- Losses: 1
switched up...
" I hate my rhymes, but i hate everyone else's more" - Mike Shinoda
- complexity
- Elevated
- Posts: 9699
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
- Wins: 48
- Losses: 15
- Location: Maine
- Contact:
'Most kids wouldn't give 2 shits and thats just to be honest/
Dimwits i get 3 shits so just stand and astonish// "
Not so good
The whole first part of the flow had nice rhythm and flow to it, but it was based more
on rhyming than actually saying something.
"Rappers now a days, pist-this-kid, to slittin-wrists, fists-get, forced to-ribs,"
That's like four concepts, because you're not staying on topic and just trying to rhyme words.
That equals very bad. I see you have a decent amount of experience, you need to apply the skills, that you have learned to, learning new skills, like thought organization and less random bars.
Overall, it wasn't to shabby man. Around here, you will get real feedback (at least from me) without the frosting, as I expect the same in return.
Keep doing your thing, and uppin for more feedback.
Dimwits i get 3 shits so just stand and astonish// "
Not so good
The whole first part of the flow had nice rhythm and flow to it, but it was based more
on rhyming than actually saying something.
"Rappers now a days, pist-this-kid, to slittin-wrists, fists-get, forced to-ribs,"
That's like four concepts, because you're not staying on topic and just trying to rhyme words.
That equals very bad. I see you have a decent amount of experience, you need to apply the skills, that you have learned to, learning new skills, like thought organization and less random bars.
Overall, it wasn't to shabby man. Around here, you will get real feedback (at least from me) without the frosting, as I expect the same in return.
Keep doing your thing, and uppin for more feedback.
Last edited by complexity on Mon Nov 05, 2007 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
yeah you might not get as much feedback but you do get better feedback from other members.
i have been starting to break down the verse and tell you what i liked and disliked and thats exactly what ima do with this drop.
multis in this drop were alright you got the concept on em.. but things like
Rappers now a days, pist-this-kid, to slittin-wrists, fists-get, forced to-ribs, of-course, this morbid-kid
its ok just the words dont really much up some do .. like 3 words rhyming with 2.. the flow just has no effect
vocab was pretty good concepts of punches were in some bars would have liked to seen abit more bro
store-a-hit, making storms-of-shit, hit, like there aint no "fans" near to witness-it. already clear of witnesses, shots-from-sniper-rifles, got-the-hyped-up-rivals, lost-like-forgotten-bibles. like being 8th floor high-with-un-wanted-idols,
^ some nice play on words and the forgotten bibles was a nice too.. overall this bar killed it
grab stance and fight you, snap hands ignight you, thats the only way ya gang, could "toss-up" pain-and-flames, change-range-and-maime,sure its somthin to be felt, so oppenents come with a name-change-and-claim, they got pride back, but shits still its under my-belt.
^ thought this bar was pretty weak multi's feel off flow wasnt good
Most kids wouldn't give 2 shits and thats just to be honest/
Dimwits i get 3 shits so just stand and astonish//
agreed with complexity this bar was forced.
Im not an empty promise, im an artist, without an accomlice/
at my calmest, im using emcee's as an arm-rest//
^ ha brang a smile to my face wasnt great but abit of a cackle came outta me
One of the hardest, smartest Emcee that targets/
competitions of knowledge, a lethargic, carcus, knifed by the sharpest//
^ yep flow was good with is important vocab was there too..
physc tech you have alot of skills. but alot more potential once you elevate you will be real good you have got the concept and understanding of everything and you can write more then one way witch will only lead to better things.. honestly man stick around here im waiting for another drop..
i have been starting to break down the verse and tell you what i liked and disliked and thats exactly what ima do with this drop.
multis in this drop were alright you got the concept on em.. but things like
Rappers now a days, pist-this-kid, to slittin-wrists, fists-get, forced to-ribs, of-course, this morbid-kid
its ok just the words dont really much up some do .. like 3 words rhyming with 2.. the flow just has no effect
vocab was pretty good concepts of punches were in some bars would have liked to seen abit more bro
store-a-hit, making storms-of-shit, hit, like there aint no "fans" near to witness-it. already clear of witnesses, shots-from-sniper-rifles, got-the-hyped-up-rivals, lost-like-forgotten-bibles. like being 8th floor high-with-un-wanted-idols,
^ some nice play on words and the forgotten bibles was a nice too.. overall this bar killed it
grab stance and fight you, snap hands ignight you, thats the only way ya gang, could "toss-up" pain-and-flames, change-range-and-maime,sure its somthin to be felt, so oppenents come with a name-change-and-claim, they got pride back, but shits still its under my-belt.
^ thought this bar was pretty weak multi's feel off flow wasnt good
Most kids wouldn't give 2 shits and thats just to be honest/
Dimwits i get 3 shits so just stand and astonish//
agreed with complexity this bar was forced.
Im not an empty promise, im an artist, without an accomlice/
at my calmest, im using emcee's as an arm-rest//
^ ha brang a smile to my face wasnt great but abit of a cackle came outta me
One of the hardest, smartest Emcee that targets/
competitions of knowledge, a lethargic, carcus, knifed by the sharpest//
^ yep flow was good with is important vocab was there too..
physc tech you have alot of skills. but alot more potential once you elevate you will be real good you have got the concept and understanding of everything and you can write more then one way witch will only lead to better things.. honestly man stick around here im waiting for another drop..


..Fuck that gay shit you say on a beat..
- psych-tech
- Rookie
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 2:27 pm
- Wins: 0
- Losses: 1
-
- Supreme Lyricist
- Posts: 6800
- Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
- Wins: 67
- Losses: 70
- Location: The Port
sniper-rifles, got-the-hyped-up-rivals, lost-like-forgotten-bibles,stopped from pit-falls like being 8th floor high-with-un-wanted-idols,grab stance and fight you, snap hands ignight you,
I Liked Dis... I Liked Your First Style.. This Wusnt Bad At All Dough.. Jus Keep Droppin Aiight..
Yoo If U Can Structure a Style Wit The Firs N Second That Would Be Crack..
I Liked Dis... I Liked Your First Style.. This Wusnt Bad At All Dough.. Jus Keep Droppin Aiight..
Yoo If U Can Structure a Style Wit The Firs N Second That Would Be Crack..

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