my shit

Vypa Vendetta · Post by **Vypa Vendetta** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:56 am

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post49598.html#49598

bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall

king of the jungle my tempers feirce like a lions roar
i'll fuck your finest whore soon as she enters the door

make it known that i'm not one to be fucked with
bring me a tough spit leave your mouth split talkin that punk shit

if you think that i'm an amature your fuckin with the wrong guy
give me the wrong eye lyrically i'll take you on a long ride

straight to the grave your place will be made
6 feet in the ground so its the end of your days

RH1NO · Post by **RH1NO** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:04 pm

LINK

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/impor ... t2163.html

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:10 am

nice drop man really like it

Young K · Post by **Young K** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:36 am

this was alright but it could of been better...
i think you were just trying to rhyme with the whore line...

"make it known that i'm not one to be fucked with
bring me a tough spit leave your mouth split talkin that punk shit"

that was my favorite line...

stay up

Momeijah · Post by **Momeijah** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:03 am

it's Ok, a Little Basic And u Could've Used More Vocab And Punches.
Multis Were Solid in Some Parts And Forced in The Next, Flow Was Nice The Way i Read it.
Work On Creativity.

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:48 am

i think this flowed very well together good job on it
it was a lil 2 basic tho u should up ur vocab (same with me)
but over all its pretty good

fav line
bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall

Lawgix · Post by **Lawgix** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:48 pm

T.K.6 wrote:i think this flowed very well together good job on it
it was a lil 2 basic tho u should up ur vocab (same with me)
but over all its pretty good

fav line
bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall

first off u said "it was a nice piece" then u give him this??? make up ur mind dude or post only once and stop copyin others...

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:25 am

well i wanted to go into a lil more detail bout it

Lawgix · Post by **Lawgix** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 5:50 am

T.K.6 wrote:well i wanted to go into a lil more detail bout it

right well when u leave feedback next time... try to go into detail on the first post so u look less like an idiot or say "this was a nice peice i'll leave some more feed later"

Vypa Vendetta · Post by **Vypa Vendetta** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:23 am

thanks for the advise uppin for more feedback

B-Bear · Post by **B-Bear** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:13 am

RH1NO wrote:LINK

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/impor ... t2163.html

The terrorist strikes again.. haha, it's actually posted a link..

B-Bear · Post by **B-Bear** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:19 am

Nooow, um.. JC, talkin bout how tough u are and how u gon fuck up everybody and fuck that chick doesn't work for me man, not on the internet... it just sound a bit silly.. keep that in mind.. but lyrically I have to agree with domino, too basic.. and your punches had some potential, but it didn't show.. I think readin texts on this site, learnin how to write your bars to achieve the best result will suit u good.. but your structure was good.. and guess your vocab needs some work.. but considerin your a rookie, i guess it's an okay drop man.. keep it up

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