Britney diss.... decided to do summin else

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Sun May 27, 2007 6:57 pm

post41288.html#41288

Decided to do summin else this time lol!
Multies - Bolded
No multies - Italic

Don't Shit-Me Britney
wht u think, U S trusts u a virgin while You dress like a ho'?
u Like a "bad quality video" cuz Justin said u did "play low"
U was like "toxic", Used tv "radiation" to make my dick hard
damn u looked "hot" in any "degree" situation, thats chick art
But now u fucked up, u just like vanilla ice, the bold type
U're value the opposite of a villa price, with a gold stripe
U shaved your fame away, oops now i did it again all my style
K Fed didn't really saved your game eyey, ha no mo' fly smile
"enter" my dimension, No' "backspace" for the bright 2 return
U was in the "center" of attention but took the "wrong turn"
U "left" rehab, but got "right" "into" "crossroads" of life
"Cash Cash", Its might untrue that K Fed made u his "love" wife
Compared to u, u make the fed shine like u did to federline
Only time when u'll sing a Line now is when u take a cokeline!!
Baby u won't "hit" me one more time now u're toxic "lacks punches"
I crack your reputation like u ate a billion "crack-lunches"

Damn i expect a bigg ass diss back from britney now!!!

Ðºâ„“Î±Ñ•Ñ•Î¹Î¹cÐº · Sun May 27, 2007 7:27 pm

LOL SWEET MAYNE
I LIKE IT WHOZ BRIYNY

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Sun May 27, 2007 9:01 pm

lolllllll your not serious?

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Sun May 27, 2007 9:09 pm

lol britney spears.

And nah im not really serious, i just thought it would be summin fun to make!

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Sun May 27, 2007 10:34 pm

T-Stylez wrote:lol britney spears.

And nah im not really serious, i just thought it would be summin fun to make!

lol sorry shoulda made my comment more specific, i meant he wasnt serious asking who britney was

Lawgix · Post by **Lawgix** » Sun May 27, 2007 11:03 pm

Fabolicious wrote:LOL SWEET MAYNE
I LIKE IT WHOZ BRIYNY

wow and you would have thought the whole K-Fed line would have given it away...

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Sun May 27, 2007 11:10 pm

lol its ok ladysam,

And chea lawgix, lol

Thanks for replying ya'll

134282 · Post by **134282** » Mon May 28, 2007 6:35 pm

I didn't find this to be very strong at all... The flow was choppy and their was no reason to bold and italicize different rhymes. If it had flowed smoothly, people would've felt it when they read it.

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Mon May 28, 2007 6:36 pm

iight so just the flow, well ok i can live with that

134282 · Post by **134282** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:01 pm

T-Stylez wrote:iight so just the flow, well ok i can live with that

Actually, no, not just the flow. The whole thing needs some work - especially the rhymes. You bolded all of the multi-syllabic rhymes, but only the last two syllables of most of them rhyme.

"Radiation" and "degree situation" don't rhyme. Only the last two syllables in "radiation" rhyme with the last two syllables in "situation" - why is "degree" even bolded...?

Also, you're forcing syllables to be accented when they shouldn't be, making the read very choppy. For example, "of life" and "love wife" only really fit well together when the accent is on "of" in the "of life" and when read aloud, it doesn't sound right.

Lastly, your grammar is atrocious. It's one thing to express grossly colloquial interpretations like "summin" as opposed to "something", it's another thing entirely to key out a small piece littered with misspellings, grammatical errors and a woefully negligent use of the English language.

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:03 pm

lol i know how to spell it, but i just type like that haha

And ok

and degree/tv.... bolded

134282 · Post by **134282** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:17 pm

T-Stylez wrote:and degree/tv.... bolded

Yeah, but although the accent in "TV" can alternate between syllables, the same cannot be applied to "degree". If it were, read aloud, it would sound like "DEE-gree". Which brings me to my next point, the first syllable in "degree", isn't pronounced with a long 'e' sound, rather it's pronounced with a decidedly slighter "di" sound. So when said aloud, "degree" and "TV" don't rhyme at all.

This is why Eminem is so successful as a rapper. All of his stuff is multi-syllabic and it all makes sense and it all seems so effortless. Each line sounds so crisp and yet none of it sounds forced.

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:18 pm

oh well i was just saying TV and Degree with a normal e =P what would rhyme with degree then?

134282 · Post by **134282** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:21 pm

T-Stylez wrote:lol i know how to spell it, but i just type like that haha

And if you know how to spell "something", then spell it. Don't colloquialize everything to the point of near illegibility. If you're really into rap, then you need to embrace the language in which it is spoken. You can still express yourself without watering down your style by communicating in a correct manner. If other people think it's wack, then fuck them.

T-Stylez · Post by **T-Stylez** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:22 pm

Thanks for explaining.. and what would rhyme with Degree thn?

Britney diss.... decided to do summin else

Britney diss.... decided to do summin else

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