1st topic

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:25 pm

hi i totally forgot slickmex gave me a topic it was life.
this is ok not great, i know i could've played a huge deal with this topic but i couldn really think of much well let me know what you thinkk:

So we all know you hate your life
Why don't you stop whinning and put up a fight
No ones safe being unscrupulous is the theme of our time
Everyones in fashion, even you and I
So take a ticket and wait in line
Maybe your number will call out and your life will be fine
Till that day take a sip of wine
Reminise of the times that kept you alive
Wake up get up its time to try and survive
Its 8 am and we begin our ride
Run on schedule, running late on time
Maybe today you'll find your call in life
Nope false alarm time to say goodnight
And hope tommorow you'll finally find that light

lol im reading over this, i think i might criticise myself, i think its choppy as hell ive done better but it was worth the try!

-TraMaTiK- · Post by **-TraMaTiK-** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 4:58 am

i liked it..it was simple ye but it was cool,got right 2 the message id say..not bad really..keep@it -1-

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:08 am

thanks buddy

SlickMex · Post by **SlickMex** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:11 am

Structure was everywhere n it was simple..but it was ok..N wat made it really cool..u wrote about life which was my suggestion lol..but u also think u can think more about ur personal experiences..

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:17 am

lol yea i could have made it more personal i guess but thanks!

RH1NO · Post by **RH1NO** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:43 am

i liked the end the best ya know ...when it was over..

lol jus playin girl it was good nice on topic was choppy
dont have a quotable but it had some bite good job girl

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:17 am

lmao meany but thanks

Subsist · Post by **Subsist** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:47 pm

wheres the link?

B-Bear · Post by **B-Bear** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:57 pm

in my opinion, pretty weak actually.. sorry sam.. it was just too simple, structure was all over, didn't catch the flow.. didn't catch the flow.. much criticism, don't start cryin..lol..juss kiddin wit u darling.. but just a thought, there's no use in posting everything u write, and u said urself

"lol im reading over this, i think i might criticise myself, i think its choppy as hell ive done better but it was worth the try!"

sometimes it aint.. lol.. but anyway, i know u can do better girl.. and so do you!

keep droppin

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:37 pm

thanks budddy! if u missed my post b4 i was saying im gna drop everything i write wether good or bad so u can all tell me where im going wrong and i can get better..and ur comment is exactly what i need so ta!

p.s im totally gonna cry coz u said i suck! haha =)

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:39 pm

Subsist wrote:wheres the link?

lahzak arie =)

hide-away-vt4539.html

heres ur link

B-Bear · Post by **B-Bear** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:51 pm

LadySam wrote:thanks budddy! if u missed my post b4 i was saying im gna drop everything i write wether good or bad so u can all tell me where im going wrong and i can get better..and ur comment is exactly what i need so ta!

p.s im totally gonna cry coz u said i suck! haha =)

no problem sam..!

ooh.. buuuhuuu.. lady sam aka illest lyrics crybaby.. haha

LadySam · Post by **LadySam** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 7:10 pm

1st topic

1st topic

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