Unfinished Collab Wit Depth

[-TraMaTiK-]

heres my part...read over it,i know its long but leave feed plz...thanx yall -1-

from the outside everything seems perfect,he's an ordinary guy
inside his minds growin thin,with reflections of depression in his eye
the laughter of his family seems to be somehow 'triv-e-ull'(trivial)
and everytime he goes to make a move he gets a push notta pull
and for some reason his face looks drained,he leans on the rail ahead
and remorse sits in his stomach like a piece of stale bread
voices whisperin in his ears,''the time has come to justify''
''but then again no one notices you,your justa-guy''
''how does that make you feel,dont you feel alone''
'how many times have you payed to keep your house a home''
''you get back from work and the kids keep tuggin on your sleeve''
''beggin and askin..Daddyyy i want these toys this what i need!!''
these voices keep playin and they seem to just get worse
he falls to his knees beggin''please stop is this a curse??''
his wife rushes to his aid and holds him so tight and dearly
askin ''baby are you okay are you alright do you hear me?''
he grabs her aggressively and says''get outta my face''
pushes her into the wall and from above falls a glass vase
it smashes in one motion and the blood runs thick
without thinkin he runs to his room and grabs his gun quick
loads the chamber with two bullets and keeps it on his hip
goes back to his dyin wife and says''i love you''and kisses her lips
he squeezes the trigger aimed at her chest and stops
feels her pulse decrease and watches her head slowly drop
''i had to do it my love you wouldnt understand at all''
the kids just came home from school and are walkin in the hall
they stop suddenly with a confused look and look at each other
the dad whispers ''im sorry kids its just us now, no mother''
''its been comin for a long time and i cant have a witness''
''i love you both,but come here my son you have to click this''
he places his son's thumb on the gun and cocks it back
places his daughter on his knee and rocks her in his lap
''what im about to do kids i know i will forever regret''
''but i've grown attached to insanity and cant forget''
''the misery thats gone on and the things ive seen''
''you'll see mommy in the clouds and know what i mean''
he picks the kids up and ties them both to a wooden chair
puts the trigger to his son and says ''i wouldnt dare''
''so you have to do it for me...wait no ill do it''
and pulls the trigger and out comes the red fluid
flowin thick with life,a life that didnt need to be taken
his daughter cryin with confusion,like ''he's gotta be fakin''
''daddy tell me he isnt hurting please tell me he's ok''
''babygirl your brother is resting forever you'll see him another day''
''and infact you'll see him in a moment,trust me real soon''
''cuz the sun cant shine forever,so here comes the moon''
he reaches in the drawer and finds a shiny new blade
turns to his daughter and says'' your light now will become shade''
''daddy what do you mean please stop,your trying to scare me''
''no babygirl im gonna let you be with mom,everything will be fair see''
''i loved your mother until she cheated and slept with another man''
''but you wouldnt understand,trust me babygirl ive done everything i can''
he takes the knife and slowly stabs his daughter in the side
cryin to himself sayin'' you always had your mothers eyes..''
he rips the knife out and watches her face gleam with fear
a broken family drove this man insane,its all too clear
he heads to the basement with resentment tearin at him
looks in the mirror and wonders whos starin at him
he hasnt a clue,these voices took over his life
murdered his whole family,his kids and his wife
on the basement floor lies a little black pistol
checks the chamber and its definetly clear as crystal
on what he's gonna do,or so he starts to think
tightens his grip on the pistol and slowly blinks
puts the barrel to his temple,and pulls the trigger quick
all u hear is the droppin of a body and the gun go CLICK

[Haz]

everytime he goes to make a move he gets a push notta pull
and for some reason his face looks drained,he leans on the rail ahead
and remorse sits in his stomach like a piece of stale bread
voices whisperin in his ears,''the time has come to justify''
''but then again no one notices you,your justa-guy''


Favorite Lines ^^^^ ...

[-TraMaTiK-]

word thanx yo...uppin -1-

[complexity]

Pretty good. I liked the concept.

Uppin

[~*Blitz*~]

that shit was crazy and its even craizer that shit like that happens everyday. Good shit, whens Depth finishing his piece that damn slacker

[Borat]

i know!!!... sorry! i work alot... i promise im still working on it!!!!

[Lawgix]

yeah man i loved this one dude... my fav lines were

voices whisperin in his ears,''the time has come to justify''
''but then again no one notices you,your justa-guy''
''how does that make you feel,dont you feel alone''
'how many times have you payed to keep your house a home''
''you get back from work and the kids keep tuggin on your sleeve''
''beggin and askin..Daddyyy i want these toys this what i need!!''

these voices keep playin and they seem to just get worse
he falls to his knees beggin''please stop is this a curse??''
his wife rushes to his aid and holds him so tight and dearly
askin ''baby are you okay are you alright do you hear me?''
he grabs her aggressively and says''get outta my face''
pushes her into the wall and from above falls a glass vase
it smashes in one motion and the blood runs thick
without thinkin he runs to his room and grabs his gun quick

''the misery thats gone on and the things ive seen''
''you'll see mommy in the clouds and know what i mean''
he picks the kids up and ties them both to a wooden chair
puts the trigger to his son and says ''i wouldnt dare''
''so you have to do it for me...wait no ill do it''
and pulls the trigger and out comes the red fluid
flowin thick with life,a life that didnt need to be taken
his daughter cryin with confusion,like ''he's gotta be fakin''
''daddy tell me he isnt hurting please tell me he's ok''
''babygirl your brother is resting forever you'll see him another day''
''and infact you'll see him in a moment,trust me real soon''
''cuz the sun cant shine forever,so here comes the moon''

turns to his daughter and says'' your light now will become shade''
''daddy what do you mean please stop,your trying to scare me''
''no babygirl im gonna let you be with mom,everything will be fair see''
''i loved your mother until she cheated and slept with another man''
''but you wouldnt understand,trust me babygirl ive done everything i can''
he takes the knife and slowly stabs his daughter in the side
cryin to himself sayin'' you always had your mothers eyes..''
he rips the knife out and watches her face gleam with fear
a broken family drove this man insane,its all too clear
he heads to the basement with resentment tearin at him
looks in the mirror and wonders whos starin at him
he hasnt a clue,these voices took over his life
murdered his whole family,his kids and his wife
on the basement floor lies a little black pistol
checks the chamber and its definetly clear as crystal
on what he's gonna do,or so he starts to think
tightens his grip on the pistol and slowly blinks
puts the barrel to his temple,and pulls the trigger quick
all u hear is the droppin of a body and the gun go CLICK

mos def one of the best i've read... i visioned the whole thing in my head its awesome man can't wait for depths drop man

keep it real

peace

[-TraMaTiK-]

thank yall apperciate it -1-