Heaven's Gates

[NeverOddOrEven]

So this is potentially gonna be my first released single as a hip hop artist, but it's a ways from finished. Let me know if you guys have feedback, positive or negative... it'll help a lot and I'll probably take your advice. I'm definitely gonna take out my heavy breathing in the beginning of the song, as well as add more hooks. Let me know if you notice anything else. Check it out.

Lyrics

Every damn night, I pick up the pen with a passion
Mental assassin with every sentence I’m scratchin
Killin beats, I should go repent to a Baptist
Not fishin for compliments, these rhymes are too deadly to catch
It’s like my eyes see the paper and my pencil reacts
Shit, I couldn’t be stopped by a temple of Catholics
Backed by generals and captains with weapons while blastin’
Unstoppable crazy when the tempo is fast
Bass and treble are maxed
The microphone rests in my hands
Plenty of fans are watchin, chillin, and ready to dance
My energy’s back for the twenty minute set that I have and
It becomes more of a movement and less of a practice
Talk to any damn person that I’ve met you can ask ‘em
Spit the breath of a dragon with impeccable fashion
Sick of the hobby, I needa start collectin’ the cash
Best in my faction, plus I’ve never used conventional tactics
Methods of madness, ahead of secular trash shit
---- Lyrics are safe sex ----
It comes through my head so I rap it
Sucks tho, I wish I could accept all my past shit
Or be sent to it to retract that ecstasy habit
Use to be quicker and luckier than steps of a rabbit
Rabbit foot, get it? Yup. I’m way better than average
Answers to the questions you ask
The second you ask them
You can understand why I think my professors are wack
I’m better off making my own testing from scratch
Or spend class playing chess in the back with Emma and Catherine
Take the most excellent hash in a Cartel Mexican’s stash
Smoke it with Becca and Ashton then go lecture my classes
Spend my days wondering about this perception I’m havin
And what the fuck happens when my next step is the last one
evolution everlastin, I’ll forever imagine
Will I make it to the skies, up in Heaven relaxin?
Perhaps the universe is only destined for blackness
I’d prolly know the answer if I was better at math
Forever been bad with numbers, man, I guess I should practice
Not spendin my fuckin’ days being clever with rappin
Hope my music reaches the point of trendy or classic
Either way, my records attract the depth of the masses
Hip Hop is not dead; I’ve resurrected its passion
Like spreading Eminem’s ashes on a feminist’s casket
I’m a special attraction like Jessica Chastain
An invention of magic like tenable plastic
Get it straight, kid, or turn into a lesbian fast,
I’ll teach lessons to fat kids
Lace their spaghetti with acid
Step away laughin while they reflect on what happened
I’m especially mad
At kids with plenty of cash, whips,
Twenties that stack thick
And who are sexually active
Can’t remember the last time I slept on a mattress
didn’t mess up my back quick
Fed up with this wack shit
on a quest to Damascus
Maybe I passed it
fuck romance, it just makes me incredibly sad
All we need is sex and can have it with a friendly companion
God damnit, I’m out of rhymes, so I’ll sever this track mix
Take this record and smash it, throw it into the trash bin
Please forgive me Chris McKinney, but this ending is tactless
Cuz every other fuckin line of your was technically magic

Hip Hop ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK
NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE,
I'll REMEMBER EVERY DAY
HIP HOP ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK
NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE
TO ME THESE ARE HEAVEN'S GATES

Hip Hop ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK
NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE,
I'll REMEMBER EVERY DAY
HIP HOP ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK

NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE
TO ME THESE ARE HEAVEN'S GATES

Livin it better, I get that shit forever
And I kill u on any beat, or any day, like whatever
And I'll step it up with cleverness sever this
To a better mix
givin the rhythm and livin a little better than ever
time and the measure
I'll wreck it today, like hey
Whatchyu gotta say?
Rep it for Seattle, 206 every day
And we got so many styles radios would let play
Macklemore, Grieves, LA, and Pepe

Hip Hop ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK
NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE,
I'll REMEMBER EVERY DAY
HIP HOP ALL DAY, NEVER WAIT, NEVER BREAK
NEVER STOP, NEVER LATE
TO ME THESE ARE HEAVEN'S GATES

[Cyan]

Yeah ... alright man! ...

Lotta good stuff here. You did really well with the doubles ... they help enuciate your punches and you timed em well.

I like tracks where cats just rap ... It's funny that you found about 50 rhymes for passion ... I should write some of these down ha ha... You're definately comfortable making off-rhymes that work well.

Overall ... I really enjoyed this man. You brought a lot of energy to it ... and did your thing. Keep it up.