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[Defiance]

I'm craving disaster, a compassionless bastard with a mouth full of bad words
with bad nerves.. as thoughts squawk and flop like a box full of bagged birds
ideas didn't trans-fer to answers, the quotient was lost cold an potent as frost
bereaved and growing in cost self worth declines than rises slowing the stocks
the love potion was faux a fake, one shake and the joy an hope went hopeless
choking focus.. perpetually fighting a losing battle while coping with culprits
sight is broken an scopeless can't see further than a day late an a nickel short
attitude's saltier than pickled pork always tempting death like whats the sickle for?
a little fork in the road can turn happy travels to wrecked shaken n' rattled
face freyed grated by gravel feeling punched up like words played in a battle
blaming my shadow, for always following like sheep but never leading the way
black bleeds into grey as white dissipates in to the colorless sheet it displayed
on the eve of the day i try to find another reason to kick off my tattered blanket
shattered graces as the laughter faded to silence like in a fractured banquet
i act impatient tired of waiting and pacing like fuck it i don't got the time
i lost my mind been doing fine but half the time i feel crippled like a shot in spine
thoughts i mod-i-fied like god i tried but this being alive shit has got me shook
These drugs have got me hooked, tired of running out of breath like a lofty crook

[Kau the Lion]

Has a feeing of exhasperation to it. A couple lines didn't really connect with me but overall I oun this a good read.
"Feeling punched up, like words played in a battle." <favorite line right there.
Flow and multies were definitely on point though a few rhymes felt forced. Nothing major though. Nice job with this one.

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[Jsteel]

I like this piece.nicely written,i like your wording and the way you expressed your ideas...nice job,flow multis were good though i agree with kau..keep it up

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[COMPUTERCHIPS]

Words are truely inspiring. Shit is amazing dude.
Diggin the first few bars the most..but the whole thing was really interesting and fun to read. thanks for posting

[Defiance]

FEED ME!!!!! AGGGGHGUUUUAGGUUUU

[Caleb Terry]

I act impatient tired of waiting and pacing like fuck it i don't got the time/
i lost my mind been doing fine but half the time i feel crippled like a shot in spine/

^^nice structure with wordplay and metaphors here^^

-- Fri Dec 09, 2011 10:03 am --

thoughts i mod-i-fied like god i tried but this being alive shit has got me shook/
These drugs have got me hooked, tired of running out of breath like a lofty crook/
^^IMO good drop here, the 1st and 2nd line blended smoothly^^

[Quix]

ideas didn't trans-fer to answers, the quotient was lost cold an potent as frost
bereaved and growing in cost self worth declines than rises slowing the stocks
the love potion was faux a fake, one shake and the joy an hope went hopeless
choking focus.. perpetually fighting a losing battle while coping with culprits


Damnn ... well done ^

on the eve of the day i try to find another reason to kick off my tattered blanket
shattered graces as the laughter faded to silence like in a fractured banquet

good flow right here ^^ enjoyed this read my dude. Flow was on pretty much the whole way through and IMO your multies were pretty spot on. Nice read

[Haz]

I'm craving disaster, a compassionless bastard with a mouth full of bad words
with bad nerves.. as thoughts squawk and flop like a box full of bagged birds

Nice first bar, good flow.. multi's on point

ideas didn't trans-fer to answers, the quotient was lost cold an potent as frost
bereaved and growing in cost self worth declines than rises slowing the stocks

I liked this. You're telling it how you see it.

the love potion was faux a fake, one shake and the joy an hope went hopeless
choking focus.. perpetually fighting a losing battle while coping with culprits

This was cool, Not as hard hitting as up there, but hitting hard none the less..

sight is broken an scopeless can't see further than a day late an a nickel short
attitude's saltier than pickled pork always tempting death like whats the sickle for?

You picked It back up here.. I see you changing your writing style a Little.Multi's on point. Flow's good .. "nickel short",good imagery

a little fork in the road can turn happy travels to wrecked shaken n' rattled
face freyed grated by gravel feeling punched up like words played in a battle
blaming my shadow, for always following like sheep but never leading the way
black bleeds into grey as white dissipates in to the colorless sheet it displayed

Hard.. you snapped here lol.

on the eve of the day i try to find another reason to kick off my tattered blanket
shattered graces as the laughter faded to silence like in a fractured banquet
i act impatient tired of waiting and pacing like fuck it i don't got the time
i lost my mind been doing fine but half the time i feel crippled like a shot in spine
thoughts i mod-i-fied like god i tried but this being alive shit has got me shook
These drugs have got me hooked, tired of running out of breath like a lofty crook

This was a cool ending. It just calmed down from the previous section.

Anyway's This was overall a good read, and I can tell you elevated.
Keep it up man.

[QwarterZ]

damn man you always going in with these multis and its crazy because it seems like you allllllways have a nice flow with it....which makes it a dope read...I did find a couple trouble spots in this though....it was either how I was flowin it....or how u wrote it...lol...either way well done breh

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