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Astral Keep

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MonuMental
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Astral Keep

Post by MonuMental »

Abstractedly distracted passing through an astral keep,
It comes to me by way of sleep and paints me galleries,
Naturally fastening my eyes on a mental masterpiece,
Who's facets speak a language that no human can repeat,
Enthralled, stars sprawled, marching through endless night,
Smoky clouds setting sail on the black and purple heights,
Heaven's might in repose, silent prose, solo flight,
Into places no one knows or even sees until I write,
Galactic plumes shooting blooms of colors never named,
Neither fathomed or proclaimed as a part of the mundane,
Never tainted, never stained, never lost in dark or pain,
So much beauty to explain can't be saved inside a brain,
Too much to contain, even when not too much remains,
I work and strain to make this visual, do I work in vain,
Celestial sublimations configure me to travel spaces,
On elevations of dimensions never graced with other faces,
Explanation and reason left without consideration,
Complete and full amazement causes energy displacement,
I'm still complacent and safe diving into a sun,
Becoming a part of fate without faith, mentally stunned,
Everything is one, I am the center, symmetrical Zen,
No physical pen to hold me trapped in, waiting to live,
The hues of a bruise all around never spoke so true,
Cosmic dust in clouds of crimson ranging to blue,
Nebulas and galaxies too large to shun what they are,
Content at heart, I rest forever under blankets of stars.
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/evolu ... 22884.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/style-vt22901.html
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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Defiance
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by Defiance »

yo spacie man outer spacie... dug it though, good continuance of rhythm i like the rhyme beginning rhyme ending structure one of my favorite types..
stayed on point too, with talent comes great scripts good shit homie
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MonuMental
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by MonuMental »

Appreciate it, bruh!! Felt like I'd go with a diff concept this time round.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
KING RUM12
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by KING RUM12 »

I dug this...completely consistent throughout the whole thing rhymes were ill concept ill...rhythm ill...I knew where u were taking me in ur scheme before I even read it...stayed on on topic..I hate tht skipping around when ur tlking about something specific ...great drop Mon..looking forward to more...

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-_sarcastically speaking_-

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FlipSide
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by FlipSide »

the flow was on a higher level on this piece. everything seemed to fit together nicely. Nice drop and a god topic as well. Nothing wasted there
BANG BANG!!!! I Shot U Down
̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -
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MonuMental
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by MonuMental »

Appreciate it, ya'll.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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M33Kish
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by M33Kish »

damn dude..... shit was phsycadelic ya know? but this was some depictive shit right here

"Galactic plumes shooting blooms of colors never named,
Neither fathomed or proclaimed as a part of the mundane,
Never tainted, never stained, never lost in dark or pain,
So much beauty to explain can't be saved inside a brain"

^^^This shit i like, i like alot....


THIS IS OFFICIALY D.O.P.E.
The Meek Shall Prosper... So they say :P
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MonuMental
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by MonuMental »

Appreciate that, bruh!!
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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Arcane
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by Arcane »

CONSISTENCY!!! i'm feeling this bro! everything was stringed together nicely. like a knife through butter type of smooth man. Flow was present, imagery here and there was vivid. DEFINETLY feeling this haha keep at it my dude!
The Arcane Order

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MonuMental
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by MonuMental »

Appreciate it, Cane!!
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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NeverOddOrEven
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by NeverOddOrEven »

Damn, this written is near perfection. The vocab, the multies, and the sense of emotion. You analogize shit in a way that is profound, like "Celestial sublimations configure me to travel spaces,
On elevations of dimensions never graced with other faces" and "Content at heart, I rest forever under blankets of stars"

Dope shit. Really not a lot to work on with this. I'd say if you wanted to make it perfect, divide it into verses, all with impactful endings, then create a relevant hook and record it into a song.

Other than that, for what it was, it's a 10/10.
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Kau the Lion
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Re: Astral Keep

Post by Kau the Lion »

I guess I missed this the first time around. One of my favorite pieces on here. Of course, I have a soft spot for anything space themed: metaphorically or otherwise. Nothing to criticize here at all.
Abstractedly distracted passing through an astral keep,
It comes to me by way of sleep and paints me galleries,
Naturally fastening my eyes on a mental masterpiece,
Who's facets speak a language that no human can repeat,
Nebulas and galaxies too large to shun what they are,
Content at heart, I rest forever under blankets of stars
Those were my favorite lines. Great bookends to a perfect piece.
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