END OF THE WORLD !

[CBK]

IM OLD BEYOND RECKONING, FORMED IN THE BEGINNING
MY BEAUTY SURPASSES WORDS EVEN THOUGH MY “TOP IS THINNING” (destroyed ozone layer)
GETTING KILLED BY VILE TOXINS FLOWING “THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM”(polluted rivers)
IM LOST WITHOUT A VOICE BUT IF I COULD THEN I WOULD SCREAM
IT’S LIKE IM ALWAYS SPINNING MY TEMPERATURE’S RISING
NOT GONNA GIVE IN THO MY BODYS FOR EVER SUPRISING
IM GONE FROM BARELY SURVIVING TO FIGHTING BACK WITH FURY
UNLEASHING AWESOME FORMS OF POWER TO DEVOUR WHAT SCORNS ME
SUPERNATURAL STRENGTH SPLITTING STONES SHAKING ANCIENT FOUNDATIONS
EXFOLIATING MY FACE BY BREAKING DOWN NATIONS QUAKING,
ITS CAPTIVATING THIS PATH I’VE TAKEN, MAKE NO EXAGGERATIONS
EVERY SINGLE THING IM LITERALLY OBLITERATING NOW IVE AWAKENED, ASK THE HAITIANS.
RELEASING SWEAT TO CLEANSE MY PORES,IV’E BEEN FOR EVER AVENGED BY WARS
SO ITS REVENGE BY FORCE, EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING TO END MY CAUSE.
WHIPPING UP WINDS OF WRATH IN AID OF MY SURVIVAL
DESTROYING CULTURES OF VULTURE NATIVES WHO PREY ON MY VITALS
OBLITERATING ALL WHO HAVE DESECRATED MY FACE
DECEMATED THE PLACE, DEVESTATED BY APES GROWN INTELLIGENT BY FATE
UPSET THE NATURAL BALANCE NOW ITS TIME TO GIVE THEM A TASTE
UTTER COLLATERAL DAMAGE AN EXTERMINATE THE RACE
IT’S IN MOTION GENESIS IS NO NOTION ITS MY NATURAL TACTIC
MAN HAS HAD IT,AND THIS PLANETS ALREADY HAD PRACTICE
I ABIDE NO LAW,GET RID OF MAN LIKE I GOT RID OF THE DINOSAURS.
A LITERAL POWER SHOWER OF METEORITES DEVOURED THE BEASTS ALRIGHT
AN VOLCANIC MAGMA POURED OUT MY CREASES FEASTING ON THE SEEDS OF LIFE.
MY FACE WAS SCOLDED BUT AFTER THAT UNFOLDED
A NEW AN PLEASANT PLACE RELOADED.
THEN MAN CAME WITH FIRE AN AXES AN AFTER A WHILE HIS MILD MANNER RELAPSES
HE DESTORYS NATURE AN REARRANGES MY FACE BUT DOESNT REALISE WHAT DANGER HE FACES
WHATS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE, ANOTHER DESTRUCTING OF RACE A FACTUAL PRACTICE
GENOCIDAL STORMS KNOWN AS NATURAL DISASTERS, ITS THE PLAN
I BECAME AWARE AS MY TEARS HIT JAPAN, IM SICK OF MAN
I WISH HE DISAPPEARS AN THERES PEACE AGAIN
IN CLOSING IM IMPLODING MY INNERS EXPLODING INTO PIECES AGAIN
MY SKINS NOT RELOADING WITH DIFFERENT LANDSCAPES THIS TIME
IM LOATHING INSIDE BUT THIS TIME MANS FATE IS MINE.
AN BY THE TIME IM FINISHED THERE WONT BE A SKY NO MORE
NO GUY ALIVE NO MORE THIS TIME I BELIEVE IT’S MY FINAL WAR
THEY’VE BROKE MY BACK I NEED A SPINAL BOARD IM WRITING FINAL THOUGHTS
SIGNED THE LORDW

[Glamtrash]

i absolutely hate the way you structured this. That said, I don't think it's horrible. It seems long and drawn out but I think that could at least partly be due to the structure. Good use of language. Stop typing in caps.

I'm also going to move this. Not only is it more a written, but you might also get more feed there.

Work out the kinks. I look forward to reading more.

[ Post made via Android ]

[Shawnmd]

I agree about the structure and the caps. The post its self is really good my opinion, your still hot with your lines, keep it up and check out my latest stuff.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/persi ... 23964.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/time- ... 23956.html

[QwarterZ]

yeuck...this seems soooooo exaggerated to me in some sort of way
but regardless you had some decent concepts nothing too amazing
I thought that you were screaming the whole time though...so it kinda bugged me
I don't really like the vibe of that...maybe that's why the flow seemed off
I don't like this but you still had some decent ideas brought together...nice drop