THE OLD WORLD

[vanity]

a quick thought (keystyle)

the old world feels so new to me, somehow it says girl this is where should be
calls my name i feel like i fit right in, i cant explain it ppl look so much like me
i’ve never had such a feeling of belonging, its something thats stronger than me
the other side of earth serves a deep desire, an urge to search my anccestries birth
at first i thought i was fascinated by history, n den this just hit me, maybe it’s my destiny
a thirst for knowledge! should i enroll in college? i then acknowledge the depth with in me
the key to unlock my life’s mysteries, leaving the old world and blocking out all the missery
leaving the past behind, just wanna find myself, the hell with everything that inprisoned me
w/o hesitation my mind asking questions, looking for opinions but i must be dreaming!!!
full of frustration my thoughts are going in all sorts of directions i feel like just screaming

this is when doubt sets in, i start sinking in my mind, thinking of my future generations
what about the dedication, blood spilled, ppl killed in this land that i now call my nation?

[Loon E Lou]

Iunno. This is different. Your structure makes it sound almost like spoken word. I caught parts of the flow which werent bad, so it still came out bein an alright read. You seem to have a great feel on material and such so maybe jus some more focus on how u structure it can do wonders for u. Itll help others feel your piece a little more without having to catch the flow. Good piece tho

[ Post made via iPhone ]

[AntiMaTTer]

a quick thought (keystyle)

the old world feels so new to me, somehow it says girl this is where should be
calls my name i feel like i fit right in, i cant explain it ppl look so much like me
i’ve never had such a feeling of belonging, its something thats stronger than me
the other side of earth serves a deep desire, an urge to search my anccestries birth
at first i thought i was fascinated by history, n den this just hit me, maybe it’s my destiny
a thirst for knowledge! should i enroll in college? i then acknowledge the depth with in me
the key to unlock my life’s mysteries, leaving the old world and blocking out all the missery
leaving the past behind, just wanna find myself, the hell with everything that inprisoned me
w/o hesitation my mind asking questions, looking for opinions but i must be dreaming!!!
full of frustration my thoughts are going in all sorts of directions i feel like just screaming

this is when doubt sets in, i start sinking in my mind, thinking of my future generations
what about the dedication, blood spilled, ppl killed in this land that i now call my nation?

yea i agree... its deep it pretty cool, good content, but if you supposed to be RAPPIN it then rap it babe. also too many "ME " Rhymes... switch it up a bit and just look for other stuff that rhymes with ME that you can structure into the content.

[vanity]

yea it was a quick keystyle while i was bored waiting lolol
thanx 4 ur feedback guys

[For Real]

it was a good little drop. at times the flow was a bit choppy and there was a few stumbles but on the whole it wassent too frequent. the topic was a bit generic, but you had a good twist on it using an older world as opposed to just creating a new world. not bad for a keystyle, and looking forward to reading more.

[Faze]

Yea It Was Okay But It Does seem more like spoken words than a rap'