hate love

[the sentinel]

this one goes out to all you haterz who wont like me. . .here goess!!

.I melt dicks like cheese curls to saliva,delt clicks like jeez nd ur body swurls like liver.
im moses and you been waiting for me to deliver, red roses you’ve seen but im brighter than shorts by quicksilver.
i bust niggaz like a c-4 explosion,i dust niggaz before a conclusion.
i just corrupt boys headz like particles in diffusion,play them hard and cause them practices of dillusion.
not the jocker but im the mask,change temper like a poker just knw that im a full task.
im like thor but i carry an axe and i make goddesses fall,im on shore and i ferry a pax for your sake,i condensess the tall.
i drop haterz like dead get it? drop dead,ure weakling, a flop made.
i duck bullets you shoot like neo,u fuck midgets i look like cleo(patra).
youre a cross between a cow and grass…shit! i floss like a queen and u on the low class.
your skillz a fake like made in china,i cut sharper than a blade from china.
i cut’em like cloth coz im a scissor,u see me and u froth coz im king caeser.
throw punchlines like haymakers,i blow backlines like playmakers.
my rhymes active like ho’s on call,lines massive like show’s on a poll.
i smoke haterz like purple kush,choke haterz in waves like a ripple push.
like. . .that previous line was so whack,thats marvelous to u like u high on crack.
i twurk on your hate territory…like a ghost i lurk in ur territory.

[Enlightend]

Its just eh... most of the punches were overstretched(not the line... the punch itself) over written and or played at best... so think about trying to reword ur bars...IMO that alone would help... also try an stay fresh... read a news forum... or something.... you can take this anyway you want but im just trying to help u improve

[the sentinel]

man just let me know wha you feel is wrong,im a novice rapper nd i know it takes all ya got to be the best so please keep givin me tha critisism...i need it a lot bruh