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Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

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akm
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checking in

Post by akm »

just signed up. let me know what you think.

a beat and a rhyme,for defeating the kind,of people who find, somekind of peace of mind, by taking a piece of mind, i wait and i piece i find, that the puzzle was fun but doesnt really make sense, double trouble just run and take precautionary steps, to cease the time, well atleast i'm trying, i'm a beast i'm lying, this is a verbal roller coaster, you cant get off, it just adds to the joke so, if you've had enough go and call my bluff and steal all my stuff, i still rap about it like i dont give a fuck.
Enlightend
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Re: checking in

Post by Enlightend »

Not bad... good flow content is ehh but its evident u can write... structure is bad for text, try it like this....

Blah BA de blah blah blah blah with a rhyme here
The start a new line and make it rhyme here again

***U can put inner rhymes/multies throught but bars should always end with rhymes***

But the verse itself was ok... so keep up...
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For Real
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Re: checking in

Post by For Real »

the rhymes kind of broke up. havin diff syllables in the rhymes really fucks the flow a bit, so try not ta do that. pretty decent little drop, just try and keep workin and advance from it.
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