Just Thoughts

[Enlightend]

i started this as my WAR collaboration piece but i dont think this is the direction the rest were gonna go with it.... so i will rewrite... but drop me some feed...


i opened my minds door, and type with eyes sore, spent hours trying to describe war
from Baghdad to corners.. a bad ass.. a coroner.. and that drunk that cries poor
i once dropped him a penny the guy swore... he said u couldnt provide more
storm-in Normandy right ta my shore, face paint, sly whores, or the kind G I's wore
crime soars, thugs implied more but politicians lie for the chance ta rise forth
work horses, hoofs been stained just like hoods n gangs they call it justified gore
then every July fourth out of the sky pours a celebration so many have died for
at home a soldiers life mourned, prides formed but who justifies his five tours

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post1 ... ml#p177296
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post1 ... ml#p176776

[Sir Kevin O Shea]

The content and flow are quite profound. I will be looking forward to the completed version.

[FlipSide]

it was well written, i would quote some but i dont feel like it. Nice to see some depth in your written...good structure, flow and so forth

[Defiance]

yeah another dope drop from ya.. like the continous rhyme multi.. great shit man.. need more

[Enlightend]

Good look on the feed

[the sentinel]

Yeeah mayne! thts a good one,expectin the finishd version ta get sicker, nice flow above all and good "simply complex" rhymes too...check out some of me stuff!

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[QwarterZ]

This was actually a smooth ass piece I liked the flow and how you incorporated a slight introspective vibe to this it kept the piece very very smooooth...nice job my friend

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[For Real]

good drop. you fell off a little at times wit the continous rhyme. you repeated some of the words and the rhyme became less frequent, but you picked up again before d end. good meaning and good topic. lookin forward ta readin more.