Words Of Encouragement

[Kuhlerblynd]

Anyone that leaves feed on this and would like some feed in return on something I might not have been able to read, please leave a link...


Aight, just something a little different than what I normally write... Hope its enjoyed...

Ayo...

I believe in you and me, a moon that sings, a truth that brings the proof of kings
I know that usually we move the seed before it can sprout and set its roots in deep
We often act foolishly, without thinking twice, but we can always make it right
I see something great in sight, no contridiction when I say it's like day and night
As they actually come together beautifully in this crazy life, I say we take the light
Shine it on the future and train for flight, then take off like we fucking came to fight
Hell, a short circuit can blaze a mic, accidents and mistakes can both teach knowledge
A kid with no hope can reach college and have an eye on the future, then preach profits
You have what you need, honest! And I have faith you will do more than succeed
Close my eyes, witness you exploring your dreams and enjoying the scene
I know this will happen, its more tha belief, because only we can hold us back
Everyone knows the facts, it's completely up to you and where you keep your focus at
Its time you close the gap, make the leap of faith to reach a place you deserve
There's a straight path after taking a turn others have travelled less on but making you learn
In the end of it all, it's change that you earn, so reap the benefits and see the evidence
You're meant to have a dynamic destiny in life, because indeed, you're heaven sent

[Loon E Lou]

hey buddy, this is pretty nice. one thing i caught were a couple grammatical issues. i feel like a piece of this type, should be on point with everything.

Shine it on the future and train for flight, then take off like we fucking came to fight


^^i think this like couldve been deeper without the FUCKING. i think it took away a little from the piece. but thats just me.

everything else tho, i feel where your coming from on this man. words of encouragement are few and far between now a days.


i know this will happen, its more tha belief, because only we can hold us back
Everyone knows the facts, it's completely up to you and where you keep your focus at
Its time you close the gap, make the leap of faith to reach a place you deserve


^^i like the little rhyme scheme on this one. flowed very well for me. everything else i feel was on point as well. nice piece here murk. strong and positive. you can never go wrong with that.

[Tha Dark Prince]

this is nice.. Really dope piece of work, had me wanting to read the whole thing from the first few lines. I think the message and feeling you wanted to instill on the audience was done perfectly, as for flow, etc. Everything seemed good and on point to me

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[Kuhlerblynd]

Thanks alot

I was going for a smooth flow, deliver the message, throw in a little wordplay without taking away from the piece type of feel...

I really appreciate the feed!

[Grim]

you came deep on this and i like that..but when you have killer lines which you do in here it makes the softer lines standout more...this almost gave me a poetry feel in certain areas..and real nice with the multis..not too much seemed forced...that line that loon quoted i agree could have been made better...with some of the elegant phrases you have in here those cuss or raw phrases like that can take away from the feel of it...overall this was a real nice post and it is nice to see people take on different styles or topic then they would typically do..so props...I would probably give this an 8/10 as a sixteen..wouldn'r mine seeing what you could do with this as far as a song with another verse and chorus..nice work and keep expanding on what you write about...respect

[Defiance]

damn son, this shit was fire when it comes to multis.. i dug it, flowed well, dope concept, the first rhyme scheme got me hooked on it than it just kept on going, a lil stretched bars, which should be broken in to smaller lines.. but other than that i was digging it... return the favor feed some of mines

[Enlightend]

i was feeling this it... it was soft and the flow was smooth but it kept my interest because it was still lyrically stimulating....

[MonuMental]

It was a different concept than you see implemented into most pieces, nowadays. It had substance and a positive message without coming off as self righteous or over embellished. It was deep, man. Dope ass piece, bruh.

[Omnie]

Flow was on point with the multies...wordplay was worked in...positive piece without sounding preachy, if that makes sense...dope drop

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[Joe Saint]

Flow was on point the mulities help a lot with the flow. This was a very impressive drop. 9/10

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[Moneymaker]

Dope drop the flow was off in some parts but that could just be the way i read it but an overall Dope drop a 10/10


Can you feed this. http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/short ... 22741.html

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[COMPUTERCHIPS]

Feeling this message. U really saying something positive here. Alott of dope lines all over.

[I believe in you and me, a moon that sings, a truth that brings the proof of kings
I know that usually we move the seed before it can sprout and set its roots in deep
/quote]

I know this will happen, its more tha belief, because only we can hold us back
Everyone knows the facts, it's completely up to you and where you keep your focus at
Its time you close the gap, make the leap of faith to reach a place you deserve
There's a straight path after taking a turn others have travelled less on but making you learn

DOPE!!^^^

Thanks for the drop.
PEACE

[Seansprague13]

this was sick man. it's good to see a piece that delivers an awesome message without forcing the flow.

[Kau the Lion]

I guess you don't really need anymore ass kissing here but whatever. the flow was perfect. And I was pleasantly surprised to see something more positive in general, especially from you. Had a few good bits of wordplay and overall is a very inspiring piece. Good shit.

[KING RUM12]

Bomb......

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