32neilz *vs* K panda (32 wins KO)

[32neilz]

Topic is: Trying to find a "corner" in a round room.
10 barz
house rules
due 1 week after both checks.
Chizeck..

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[Alvin]

Check


I'll let you know when I'm ready to post

[32neilz]

Sorry bro couldn't wait any longer.

The room I'm in is circular, no beggining or no end// I ain't gonna pretend, I'm worried to my wits end// I just wanna find a corner to sit and contemplate// a place to find ryhmes to hit, put on page and narrate//

No way out, no door or window, feeling unable to breathe// pressure crushing me, my words trapped in a sheath// I hate grief, and this kind of confrontation// I feel my ryhmes formation declining in graduation//

I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this writers block// and if it's the reason that verbal fighters stop// no point fighting if you can't grasp the weapons that you've got// paranoia grips as I realise the air in the chambers hot//

Reaching for the words, but my powers have been stripped// used to feel so strong but now it's as if the scales have been tipped// I feel the alphabetic script encript as I become gripped within this darkened crypt//

Overwhelming sense of panic is replaced by that of rage// a red hot anger I can't contain or hope to gauge// still nothin but nonsense scrawled across the page// the scary thought that I'll remain this way til the end of days//

You ever had that defeated feeling, felt your heart as it's sunk// head all over the place, feeling "punch'd drunk"// I shake it off by meditating like a hunched monk//

I understand that it's nothing more then mind over matter// I tell myself I can, and I  find the barrier is shattered// my mind feels lees battered and the words I long for become less scattered//

The gears of thought turn and churning// the power that I yearn is returning// feel the hunger rising and burning// the skill lies in the learning// once again I feel the tables turning//

Circular room no longer feeling claustrophobic// but still trapped in this chamber like a bullet in a gun that is loaded// feel like a bomb that's unexploded// words no longer coded and fear is eroded// 

I take a deep breath cos I know that it's time// for me to escape to the only solitudal corner I can find// one last look at the room, close my eyes and retreat to the "corner" of my mind//
  

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[Alvin]

Her Reason Was It



She pierced me like a thorn from a rose, fiercely changing my pose to a mourn/
She sat frozen in scorn, a depressed boredom of forms, almost a beautiful porn//

Her eyes sunk in the worn, facial structure that smiled before, but now scars overtake/
I traced each brake in her face, a masochist wanting its taste, I asked if it’s a wonderful place//

Her embracing answer was haunting and haste, but simultaneously blissful in space/
She guessed a wishbone had caved misplacing life which gave her a unfortunate fate//

tarnished but brave, she summed up her greatest fears and desires, i could see the fire/
inner eyes like pulling teeth with pliers, and underneath the disguise, a lost childs flyer//

She lifted her head higher, exposing the lacerations to her throat/
my world murmured bring me to a choke, she noticed and spoke...//

"You see, I've traveled, found happiness in scalpels, baffled myself in its marvels/
swallowed my blood in its shackles, heroin'd it up till their hostile anger marshaled//

Partially died in the hands of time, parts of me try to find a way to climb/
but the hands never seem to align, they just dance around the scars in mind//

I tried in every which way,but my life decays past its display, even my wishes pray/
I'm my own reaper watching the distance gray, testing how much my existence weighs"//

She stood and exposed a pool of blood, I tried to understand it past the stool in flood/
in pain she tried to run, tired & numb, beautifully dying, dragging like a tool through mud/

her life exhaled, her last gesture big enough to snap flex scales, in the face of doom/
she pointed at a book, Finding Your Corner, and said "never forget lifes a round room"//

[Ambiguous Realm]

these are just the categories i personally find most important, house rules state otherwise, i will be holding a poll tomorrow or so if i remember to vote on categories for both regular battles and topicals..anyways...


Storytelling: K Panda (not by much but his painted more of an image)
Flow: K Panda (was smoother to read, both had their moments, Panda had more)
Creativity: K Panda (although 32 used punch'd drunk, panda used a monologue)
Originality: Tie
Topic Execution: 32 (the ending was nice to use your mind as a corner)

Vote: 32 (now let me explain why..)

Although Panda drew more of a story here, and had more melody in his flow, the entire story almost seemed irrelevant for the topic, 32 had a few confusing lines but ultimately he stayed on topic, this was not a "who has a better story of their own" battle, it was according to the topic, and yea i get the life's a round room little words at the end of your verse Panda, but its almost like.. that's the only relevant line i found that even went with the topic, if this was a regular battle.. you would've won hands down but as a topical 32 executed the topic which is the most important thing to do in a topical.. so yea.. its not always who has the most categories, especially in topicals


if this topic was something like murder she wrote then this could have gone the other way, 32 also had a better outro, life's a round room sounds kinda lame imo. no offense lol

[Joe Saint]

Storytelling-Panda, I like the angle he came better then 32s
Flow-32
Creativity-TIE
Originality-TIE
Topic Execution-32

Close battle MVGT-32

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[32neilz]

2-0

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[Kause mc]

Flow - 32, you killed it man i liked it.

Creativity - tie

Enjoyment - 32

Storytelling - 32.. Couldnt really get into urs k. Cool drop though

I liked this battle pretty dope topic too

Mvgt - 32

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[32neilz]

3-0 ko, nice battle panda.
Close it up

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[Alvin]

-Thread Closed & Records Updated-

32 wins KO