Shawnmd & Trizz Collab (comment plz)

[Shawnmd]

Shawnmd:
when i prepare a verse, you listen, and soon as you hear it you'll,
get a feeling inside, and find its not spiritual,
the dictionay says the definition of a monster,
is an unusual person, they may need a sponsor,
some of my days are great, some are kind of morbid,
the weather here is usually tropical like a orchid,
i stand out in this crowd of mentally dead clones,
i usually just tune them out using my headphones,
they coerce us to take college classes, meaning extorting,
but you have to find out yourself, cause this their not reporting,
rick scott has a spot he needs to relinquish,
he'll start a flame, that will be more than hard to extinguish,
instead of us worrying about immigrant removal,
we need to focus on why our systems still feudal,
our precious money's dating insurance with a hyphon,
traveling to one specific point like a siphon,
there are heavy storms here, lighting and thunder weld,
rains pouring in, a even flood level is held,
we need to stand tall before things are sticky like maple,
no revolution can come without the main staple.


Trizz:
Well i've given up expectations,
respect left for life ? Nah... countin it in fractions
Plus, i've been strongly believin in this power that looks deceiving,
that rules this nation, doesnt care bout shit heapin
Ministers buyin voters- pimpin with tax payer's money
TVs, cash, booze, other goodies, like fat Easter bunnies
Black crores stored in white banks, hopes torn
Lesser pot mo alcohol, child labour, economy sore
Poked a joke on what gandhi wrote or jus dissed the pope's quote
Wait... They dont be harmin (ppl), jus attention seekin techniques...
They say education gifts you a better life, white lies
Why does a girl grow up to be known as somebody's wife
At times i wonder, if hate's what we attract
That only happens when theres nothin you lack
Chuck that, i wake up at six, class at seven
Hell tired as i come home, i dream of heaven
Theres no doubt i hate this place and im waitin to run away
Mad Indian Anarchy- i call it M-I-A
But i see hope, whatever they say
Coz this is what made me stronger, wasnt born this way

[32neilz]

This had an odd flow to it, different to shit I've read before, it was good tho, I enjoyed most of it, as I said the flow and structure threw me off at points.
Keep it up, nice drop guys

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[Ted Bundey]

The flow and structure was a little off but besides that it was an amazing read

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