Immortal Plat *Vs* Flowetry (Topical)

[Immortal Jav]

We Can Agree On How Many bars To Do this time
Due Date: Monday
CheckIng In

-- Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:30 am --

Topic: Life As a Hustler On The Street.

[Flowetry]

You know the topic?
8-10 bars?

[Immortal Jav]

8 Sounds Good..

[Flowetry]

You want me to drop first or you?

[Immortal Jav]

It Doesn't Matter Im Dropping late Today or Tomorow

[Flowetry]

I gotta get mine outta the way now, i'll drop first.

-- Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:59 am --

Hustlin streets jus fo' som minimum Wage
Tryna flip da Page on dis coke custered Age
At a young age I was sellin Jane n Pills
Sellin on da streets I had steady Aim n Will
School came second to ma dope boy Addiction
Many thought it was a habit but it was an Ambition
Didn't go to college dropped out at da age of 16
Had to make room to satisify this Wick Dream
When I was 20, I moved up to Sellin' Rock
Everyone knew this was a Felons Block
Got caught n was put in a new block for 10 Years (cellblock)
I had reached all my dreams and my Fears
When I got out I went back to the Same Ways
Livin da same nights livin da Same Days
Forever living inside a cage that's Trapped
I am forever Immortal doe till dat gun goes Plat(gun sound)

[Immortal Jav]

Ayo...

A Thuging spending More time in Tha PEN then iNK
chick was bugging sending a Assortment of slugs to get there grub & Beef

i was Still a Yungin flipping Bricks, Tricks Let Me Hang then
my slang was banging, My Lions mane was strictly Hanging

these streets aint weak ,its a habitat grab the rathcet
and let the magnum speak, we just here till we reach or peak or until we meet defeat

skipping school, teachers directed toward me, they ask me what i wanna Be,
I said My Mind state=the Ones Of a G, Everynight A Fiend would meet me @ a Quater Till 3

Flipping Cane Nigga's the same could Barley Hold On too a GED, slip a pack cock the gun back,
shit this habitat is Gorilla's In proverty they caged in too long, so the Fiend Grabed the Pack and shot me
a sloppy hit that got me, Rushed Too the Hospital with an unidentified Body!!

-- Sun Apr 03, 2011 2:12 am --
Shit I Did 10 Bars So just Add A Couple Bars

[Alvin]

I have to agree with Cory.

Neither were great but Flow atleast followed the rules. I rather liked Flows to begin with simply because he had a rhyme scheme and the flow wasnt difficult to find. The story was plain, but it follwed the criteria i guess. Jav, im sure by now you know that you under wrote, just try and polish some flow and the rest should folllow.

MVGT Flowetry.

[M33Kish]

Flow- flow
Multies- flow
Storyline-flow
Topic execution- flow

Immortal didn't really seem too topical, where as flow's told an actual story, with a beginning middle and end.

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