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Rise Of The Dead

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Orfadox
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Rise Of The Dead

Post by Orfadox »

Haha This Dude Think's Im Scared But I Aint Cos Jack Aint Shit
Jack's Drop's Are Like A Chick Flick,None Of The Dude's Here Feel It
We Aint In The Shower's But Im Aiming For This Man's Head & Shoulder's
Im Gunna Drop This Fool Like A Landslide Drops Nothing But Boulders
This Aint A Film But Watch As I 'X' This American Ask Him How The Pavement Taste
Couldn't Beat Me Even If He Was A Dominatrix Id Still Whip This Gimp's Jack's Face
Jack's The Punchline Line King? Now Im Gunna Ask One Question How?
Cos Jack Fell Down So I Beheaded The Motherfucker And Took His Crown
Murder This Fool Like He Was Mary Anne Nichol's Im The Real Ripper
My First Diss Was Just Fishing For Fools, I Had No Idea Jack Was A Kippper
I Aint Got To Go Back In Time To Murder Jack,Its Not 1888 But Im'a Kill This Hoe
It Might Be Elemenatary But You Aint Gotta Be Sherlock Holmes To Figure Out What Im Trying To Say,FUCK YOU







Most Of Yu Shouldnt Need Expo's So Im'a Leave Em Out
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JDR
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Re: Rise Of The Dead

Post by JDR »

nice response. Had some decent concepts but it came off a tad basic. If you concentrate on including multies and keep ya flow short like you do, you'd have that section on lock. Also, some harder punches would be nice. Maybe look for options to play wit some words. overall I think your comin' along nicely and have improved a lot since I first seen you drop.

Response, Quick key. Aint makin anotha diss thread lol

I'm pumpin' led thru yall, if we were runnin for the title I'd bet you'd crawl
Anotha thread too raw, and how you gon' wear my crown sonny when ya head too small??
Jack a beast wit drops, you need this Dox, but this nigga juss a coward wit frees
Obviously you proud of the beef, claims he aint gay but wants to take a shower wit me???
Instead this homo got outed wit ease, but Orf claims he loves the glory
But its the same so fuck the story, & I dont need to diss you, ya avy does it for me
Anybody wit cred isnt doubtin' me, even ya best is a lousy free
Forgot links? So imma keep this nigga Orf on lock like his threads about to be

g/l orf...1
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Orfadox
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Re: Rise Of The Dead

Post by Orfadox »

Uppin
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thadevious1
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Re: Rise Of The Dead

Post by thadevious1 »

hahaha, orfadox ya style is still basic, like jack said
you need to go back to the lab
and start punchin' in the right diles,
cause ya ain't startin none man
to be honest your lines are to long
and your writing style isn't Dope either
learn to use grammar and slang better

1
Last edited by thadevious1 on Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Orfadox
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Re: Rise Of The Dead

Post by Orfadox »

Fuck Me Are People So Slow Here They Dont Get The Punches? Let Me Elaborate




We Aint In The Shower's But Im Aiming For This Man's Head & Shoulder's


^^ Head & Shoulder's A Dandruff Shampoo


Cos Jack Fell Down So I Beheaded The Motherfucker And Took His Crown



^^^Jack And Jill..Crown = Head




Murder This Fool Like He Was Mary Anne Nichol's Im The Real Ripper


^^Jack The Ripper = Serial Killer From 1888 Mary Ann Nichols His First Victim
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thadevious1
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Re: Rise Of The Dead

Post by thadevious1 »

LOL, I got the punches the first time I read the verse
only thing i was saying that it was still a bit basic
you could come up with less played wordplay
to be honest Bruh
but I know it's hard sometimes to know what isn't played

but keep writing
cause i like your way of thinkin
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