10 bars(old ish)

[FatalX]

Don't Speak...Silence CREEPS.....to EMBRACE the FRAIL//
I bring death to ya FEET,see What I RAISE is HELL//
FOR I am HE who came to REAP,Yall are SLAVES for SALE//
BORN into the----> FLESH,in this AGE of SELF//
2 CONCECRATE the TRAIL,FOR the PATH OF DARKNESS//
Wipe the TEARS from your EYES,your FACE to FACE with a HEARTLESS//
SICK TWISTED INDIVIDUAL,Who LOVES the TASTE of CARCASS//
So if you HATE the SMELL of ROT,just REMEMBER your the HARVEST//
and I DIDNT come to BARGAIN with SOULS who TRY TO BARTYR//
I MAKE PEOPLE EAT WORDS WHILE I EAT EMCEES and MARTYRS//10


for those of you who have trouble reading this
CAPITALIZATION=is when I emphasize recording like doubling up the vocals
.......=pause in breath
---->=leading to the point


some people have said this was horrorcore IDK tho

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/bad-j ... 20735.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/justice-vt20717.html

[Alvin]

Don't Speak...Silence CREEPS.....to EMBRACE the FRAIL//
I bring death to ya FEET,see What I RAISE is HELL//
I like how you bring the doom from the soles which is where you initially raise hell from.
FOR I am HE who came to REAP,Yall are SLAVES for SALE//
BORN into the----> FLESH,in this AGE of SELF//
I'm no slave. Pretty forward, nothing really to look into.
2 CONCECRATE the TRAIL,FOR the PATH OF DARKNESS//
Wipe the TEARS from your EYES,your FACE to FACE with a HEARTLESS//
Nice choice of "a" instead of the heartless. You misspelled "CONCECRATE", doesn't your computer have spell check lol.
SICK TWISTED INDIVIDUAL,Who LOVES the TASTE of CARCASS//
So if you HATE the SMELL of ROT,just REMEMBER your the HARVEST//
Your sick... But i definitely like this bar the best out of the whole piece.
and I DIDNT come to BARGAIN with SOULS who TRY TO BARTYR//
I MAKE PEOPLE EAT WORDS WHILE I EAT EMCEES and MARTYRS//10
I felt like your wording could a made a better closer to be honest. Cool concept, but you fell short of execution.

All in all, a good read. The expo's on how you write help read this with flow. I wouldn't necessarily classify this complete horror core to be honest. Maybe a slightly demented piece. Good drop man, we should collab some writtens since you cant do audio.

[JiMMyJaM080691991]

that was a hella nice verse