Self Esteem: Weak

[infinite9]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/getti ... ml#p163293
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/worst ... ml#p163294

i'm always nervous that my material will never be good enough and will never be liked. i also think my lyrics will never really improve. what i write might never be good enough. so i made a song about it. the irony right now is that i don't have faith in this piece. i am determined to finish this though.

It doesn’t help that self esteem is my worst enemy
And I am known to go and quit, it’s my first tendency
And jealousy causes me to turn my back on dreams
And I’m afraid to lack schemes, I think I’m whack and cheesy
Every rhyme I write results in being thrown away
In garbage bins, I got mountains being grown and made
Come to think of it, I never wrote a finished song
But I always choke and drop it cuz it’s written wrong
I wanna sit, calm and drag my pen across with ease
That used to be so easy til the day I lost my steez
I throw my beats outside the window with my penmanship
And let my skill slip til I am focused when attention kicks
I feel that inspiration is my only chance to make it
Once I get hyped, I always take a stance but break it
And always take it, I’m lyricism’s punching bag
“Confidence” made me this way, I think I am fucking bad
***
I’m always basic but I feel the need to drain a pen
I put my sweat into the ink but it’s the same again
The hands on the clock are turning and I’m wasting time
I try to brace my lines but really I erase the rhymes
I go to chase my mind, running deep to search for ways
I could start a new song I know ain’t worth the days
I’m putting into it, I know that I will scrap the piece
And rap to beats, knowing I will ditch within the week
I get more blocks than pre school, but I can’t knock ‘em down
I’m trapped behind a wall of shame and they could lock me out
I go to war with my head just to write a verse
But I come off as primitive for shit you might’ve heard
I feel that my position is to be the best or worst
I know I ain’t a Biggie I can’t be less than first
I’ll have to burst, I’m lyricism’s punching bag
“Confidence” made me this way, I just think I’m fucking bad

a lot of people get confused with the flow. it works out. trust me. this was done to the beat "i've heard" produced by 9th wonder.

if you leave feedback i'll try my best to give it back. hope ya enjoyed.

[MonuMental]

Yeah, yo. You had rhymes and whatnot conducive to your topic and mood for the most part, but forcing them is never good. Just let that shit come, bruh. A forced thought will sound or read forced.

[infinite9]

thanks a lot guys. glad to take some advice. but what do you mean by forcing? never really caught on.

i changed the 2 lines. i think i know what you guys mean.