Worst comes to Worst

[nailamos]

worst comes to worst my poeple comes 1st
where i'am from poeple drown in there own thurst
they cursed the rich alwayz get helped 1st
it hurts self respect got thrown in the dirt
burst in anger when i wrote that verse
they deserve 1st not 2nd or fuckin 3rd
everybody has the right to dwell on this earth
Occurs daily no action but words
I felt disturbed when i heard that they don't get nursed
by these pretty young girls with those thight ass skirt
but instead they get bullied like some high school nerds
they keep eatin my words joke and laugh and burb
aight let me give u give some dessert you jerk
2 smoking barrels in ur mouth and blaze u like 1st claas herb
thats my word captain kirk oh my word
let me tell u what i heard that ur vision is fucked and blured
that bitch wears the pant and you hold the purse

[lexicon]

I like the concept but I think the style is pretty simple. If you're going to rhyme the same words twice (in this case, 1st) I would use a word that has more than one meaning. With using 1st, its the same meaning for both lines so to me, it's kinda stretching and rhyming just to rhyme.

"thats my word captain kirk oh my word"

to me, this was just a filler line and doesn't really fit. Keep working at it though.

[nailamos]

Thx 4 the Feed its was actually my first rhyme way back.. got a bit frustrated with things then and still am

[infinite9]

simplistic but kinda worth the read. flow was easy to pick up on. topic was good man. some lines weren't all there tho. i couldn't feel the piece too much but i found it decent.

keep writing dude.

[Finesse]

Flowed pretty well man, definitely worth the read, but it was a little simple, and that Captain Kirk line left me confused.

[nailamos]

liner-worth-recording-vt20622.html
death-part-vt20585.html

[stayTRUE07]

It did have some significance to it, but, was simple. I understand your concept and where you were going with it.

-- Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:44 am --

It did have some significance to it, but, was simple. I understand your concept and where you were going with it.