Ripp It Up

[Orfadox]

We cant let Jack and Murk have all the fun now can we



Emakulates a mystery...Jack we still dont know if your black or white?
Talking bout CI murdered..how when ya punches are older than an I.O.U from jesus christ
Yeah im British...take you to fleet street and watch you get ya neck slit
I aint lying..ima eat ya whole crew like a bowl of nes-Quix
Ima clean up,make it spotless while I dismantle all of ya crew
Now how am I gunna miss shots when im already on Q
And Jack might be the Rippa but its me killing these hoe's
I cant take you seriously when you beg a title match and then no show
And surprised you find time to write when you got Quix sucking ya dick
Your ryhmes are a joke man...you've even embarassed noble and riggz



Fed that pail to heavy and blokbot
[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Quix]

not bad ... but def not very good!


And surprised you find time to write when you got Quix sucking ya dick
Your ryhmes are a joke man...you've even embarassed noble and riggz

had the right idea ... but it didn't connect right. could have been reworded better.




keep dropping tho hommie

[Kuhlerblynd]

Emakulates a mystery...Jack we still dont know if your black or white?
Talking bout CI murdered..how when ya punches are older than an I.O.U from jesus christ

The idea of this is good. I liked the personal and how it was brought in at the beginning... Could have landed the punch better, but you are definitely upping your game with every post you make!!

Yeah im British...take you to fleet street and watch you get ya neck slit
I aint lying..ima eat ya whole crew like a bowl of nes-Quix

Lol I laughed at this one. Not super-hard hitting, but you brought some jokes in it, and that's always good.

Ima clean up,make it spotless while I dismantle all of ya crew
Now how am I gunna miss shots when im already on Q

Lol this is the best bar so far in my opinion. On Q/on cue, I see where you were going with this, and this is more the style I like to see you going with.

And Jack might be the Rippa but its me killing these hoe's
I cant take you seriously when you beg a title match and then no show

Very true and good point. Maybe its not that hard hitting to them, but the truth is exposed, and Im sure every time Jack hears about it, it's a reminder of how he DUCKED Scott James lol

And surprised you find time to write when you got Quix sucking ya dick
Your ryhmes are a joke man...you've even embarassed noble and riggz

I liked this, fuck what the guy above me says lol. Good shit.


Over all, this is some of the best battle material Ive seen you write. You are improving with every piece, and that's the goal. Im glad these guys gave you some motivation to spark a fire. Keep getting at it Orf. Good job.

[Orfadox]

Thanks for the feed fella's....

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:41 pm --

Anymore feed?

[JDR]

Kinda short. Nothing really hard hitting. Personals could of been nice if you flipped em a lil more.

[QwarterZ]

This was cool, I didn't think you had it in you
cool lil vibe here and there, some lines were meh
some I was like 0_0 but then it kinda slipped
but still better then NOT saying anything
keep writing though man, you'll get better

[Riggz]

Keep at it Orf. I see you trying to be versatile joining in on the beef tip. Keep it going, come hard and work with what you've got going for you rather than trying to go in a direction you're not comfortable with. You may be better off writing a nice little topical verse clowning E.M.

...just a thought.

[Orfadox]

Lets Liven Up Illest Again