Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Christmas

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
JDR
Da Punchline King
Offline
Posts: 878
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:13 pm
Wins: 48
Losses: 3
No Shows: 3

Christmas

Post by JDR »

lyrics-rate-and-comment-the-next-eminem-vt19856.html#p160488
there-vt20076.html#p160489


I guess late now but I've been out of town since the holidays. Either way, somethin' different..more emotion less punch.


Ever heard the story of Christmas from the heteral beings
Such an incredible season falsified wit no betable reasons
Here comes an ethical treason from a page that troubles back
a Pagans muffled past that this day is based from other facts
They pray & created the coming acts that was too tough to remember
The 12 day Wiseman march was impossible in the month of December
It's like bein' cut wit a splinner, to believe this could oppose 'em
That it was too cold in the manger, that baby Jesus would have frozen
A genious look from the Romans, to actualy face the rest mistaken
& take the best from Pagans, when really they replaced a celebration
They were scared of the masses and the false religion
So I guess the cost of livin' is offed & givin', from the call of Christians
Now I'm often sickened, but I was raised to believe in faith
My hate is pleased & faked cos Im a man that takes & concieves his hate
I don't care what the real truth is, I decide what makes a fraud
And I believe my father, the same father that now stays wit God
Right before I pull up to the cemetary, you notice my car & the brake lights
I stop, & want to wake up from a bad dream but I'm only left wit a gravesite
My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand

1/out...
Battle Record
40-2
Image
2010 Awards
Illest Battler || Illest Punchline Artist || Battle of the Year -vs- Cee4
User avatar
Quix
Unstoppable Emcee
Offline
Posts: 2208
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:31 pm
Wins: 89
Losses: 29
No Shows: 1

Re: Christmas

Post by Quix »

Gotta love the festive shit!


nice piece, great topic/content! enjoyed the read main! stay up hommie!
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

Image
Awards:
2009 Text diss of the year
2009 Most Hated
2011 Battler Of the Year
User avatar
Riggz
Rap King
Offline
Posts: 887
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:41 pm
Wins: 16
Losses: 8
Location: Atlanta, GA
Contact:

Re: Christmas

Post by Riggz »

Showing that versatility Jack. Nice multies, stuck to the topic, easy read yet vocab kept it far from basic. Threw in the history lesson of the Pagan's and Romans so you show you know your shit. I liked it man.

"They pray & created the coming acts that was too tough to remember
The 12 day Wiseman march was impossible in the month of December
It's like bein' cut wit a splinner, to believe this could oppose 'em
That it was too cold in the manger, that baby Jesus would have frozen
A genious look from the Romans, to actualy face the rest mistaken
& take the best from Pagans, when really they replaced a celebration" - Loved it dude. No complaints.
ILL Flow - thieves-vt15638.html
aka aL-b
"SHMUKS"
REBIRTH of the FIGHT CLUB... Say it with me!
User avatar
JDR
Da Punchline King
Offline
Posts: 878
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:13 pm
Wins: 48
Losses: 3
No Shows: 3

Re: Christmas

Post by JDR »

No doubt. Thx for readin' an feedin
Battle Record
40-2
Image
2010 Awards
Illest Battler || Illest Punchline Artist || Battle of the Year -vs- Cee4
User avatar
IntrinsicCadence
Hong Kong Phooey
Offline
Posts: 652
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:39 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 3
Location: China

Re: Christmas

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Def nice to read some diversity in ur style Jack. I've been hoping to read another kinda verse from you besides just battles. This had a solid flow to it, slightly forced in how ur multis are used at times, but just a bit. Your topic in the first half is interesting, though as far as I know even Christians usually realize that its unlikely Jesus was actually born in December. I liked ur second half of the verse the most, it struck a lot more personal and emotional. Hope u continue droppin a diversity of different kind of verses here and there...
Image
Image
User avatar
TheNobleOne
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 340
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 12:12 pm
Wins: 3

Re: Christmas

Post by TheNobleOne »

man that was sick son. thank you for actually knowing that Christmas is nothing more then a pagan holiday. no complaints here this was nice bro.
User avatar
Phasewon
Rhyme Master
Offline
Posts: 213
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:06 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Location: Seattle, WA
Contact:

Re: Christmas

Post by Phasewon »

"My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand"

Dope ending, all around nice shit, structure, multies, relevant points, all the elements secure, good job.
Glamtrash
Poetic Juggernaut
Offline
Posts: 1498
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:42 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Location: Where the Treetops Kiss the Stars

Re: Christmas

Post by Glamtrash »

I'm a huge fan of anything dark. Also you know your shit, which is always a bonus. I'm sorry it haened but it'll only make you a better erson. Look forward to reading more of your shit.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
Haz
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 6800
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
Wins: 67
Losses: 70
Location: The Port

Re: Christmas

Post by Haz »

The beginning to middle was solid, I won't lie I kind of got lost for a second but..

I don't care what the real truth is, I decide what makes a fraud
And I believe my father, the same father that now stays wit God
Right before I pull up to the cemetary, you notice my car & the brake lights
I stop, & want to wake up from a bad dream but I'm only left wit a gravesite
My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand


This was on Steroids no doubt whatsoever, can't even rate it cause it just came off mad raw, good read jack, Keep dropping
Image
User avatar
JDR
Da Punchline King
Offline
Posts: 878
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:13 pm
Wins: 48
Losses: 3
No Shows: 3

Re: Christmas

Post by JDR »

thx for the feed. 'preciate it.
Battle Record
40-2
Image
2010 Awards
Illest Battler || Illest Punchline Artist || Battle of the Year -vs- Cee4
User avatar
Kuhlerblynd
But I See Right Thru You
Offline
Posts: 2724
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:04 pm
Wins: 43
Losses: 8
No Shows: 2

Re: Christmas

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

Yeah I have alot to agree with what has been said. First, I want to say I really appreciate you coming into your own on a topical piece. I liked how you stuck to the subject, and the flow wasn't sacrificed for content and vice versa.
I like how you brought out the Paganism of Christmas, and actually put it down nicely. You showed alot of intelligence with this through your verse as well, which was a refreshing approach to something ANYONE could write about, but not something everyone could write about and make it truly interesting. What I mean by that is, everyone could write about Christmas in some form, but most wouldn't take this approach, nor would most write a better piece if they wrote with a different approach.
End result? One of the best pieces I've read from you. Enough said. Great job on this one.
--~Murk McNasty~--
Battle WRECKord 42-8
Image
User avatar
JDR
Da Punchline King
Offline
Posts: 878
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:13 pm
Wins: 48
Losses: 3
No Shows: 3

Re: Christmas

Post by JDR »

Thx for tha feed Murks. I did this drop not to bash Christianity because I consider myself a Christian. I did it to reflect the meaning behind the meaning of Christmas. I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything but I'm a dude that enjoys learnin' things and lookin' for answers at stuff that isn't usually questioned. Like, for me, it doesn't matter what date Christmas is celebrated on as long as it's celebrated. I just found the facts interesting that Christians at that time felt threatened enough from the Pagan that it resulted to this. Maybe thats all wise tale but it is interesting, to say the least.

I appreciate the feedback and I'm impressed wit how much the board as a whole knows. Makes me feel better discussin' or writin' more things like this because I know I'm not in the dark of knowing or being curious.
Battle Record
40-2
Image
2010 Awards
Illest Battler || Illest Punchline Artist || Battle of the Year -vs- Cee4
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests