Christmas

[JDR]

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I guess late now but I've been out of town since the holidays. Either way, somethin' different..more emotion less punch.


Ever heard the story of Christmas from the heteral beings
Such an incredible season falsified wit no betable reasons
Here comes an ethical treason from a page that troubles back
a Pagans muffled past that this day is based from other facts
They pray & created the coming acts that was too tough to remember
The 12 day Wiseman march was impossible in the month of December
It's like bein' cut wit a splinner, to believe this could oppose 'em
That it was too cold in the manger, that baby Jesus would have frozen
A genious look from the Romans, to actualy face the rest mistaken
& take the best from Pagans, when really they replaced a celebration
They were scared of the masses and the false religion
So I guess the cost of livin' is offed & givin', from the call of Christians
Now I'm often sickened, but I was raised to believe in faith
My hate is pleased & faked cos Im a man that takes & concieves his hate
I don't care what the real truth is, I decide what makes a fraud
And I believe my father, the same father that now stays wit God
Right before I pull up to the cemetary, you notice my car & the brake lights
I stop, & want to wake up from a bad dream but I'm only left wit a gravesite
My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand

1/out...

[Quix]

Gotta love the festive shit!


nice piece, great topic/content! enjoyed the read main! stay up hommie!

[Riggz]

Showing that versatility Jack. Nice multies, stuck to the topic, easy read yet vocab kept it far from basic. Threw in the history lesson of the Pagan's and Romans so you show you know your shit. I liked it man.

"They pray & created the coming acts that was too tough to remember
The 12 day Wiseman march was impossible in the month of December
It's like bein' cut wit a splinner, to believe this could oppose 'em
That it was too cold in the manger, that baby Jesus would have frozen
A genious look from the Romans, to actualy face the rest mistaken
& take the best from Pagans, when really they replaced a celebration" - Loved it dude. No complaints.

[JDR]

No doubt. Thx for readin' an feedin

[IntrinsicCadence]

Def nice to read some diversity in ur style Jack. I've been hoping to read another kinda verse from you besides just battles. This had a solid flow to it, slightly forced in how ur multis are used at times, but just a bit. Your topic in the first half is interesting, though as far as I know even Christians usually realize that its unlikely Jesus was actually born in December. I liked ur second half of the verse the most, it struck a lot more personal and emotional. Hope u continue droppin a diversity of different kind of verses here and there...

[TheNobleOne]

man that was sick son. thank you for actually knowing that Christmas is nothing more then a pagan holiday. no complaints here this was nice bro.

[Phasewon]

"My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand"

Dope ending, all around nice shit, structure, multies, relevant points, all the elements secure, good job.

[Glamtrash]

I'm a huge fan of anything dark. Also you know your shit, which is always a bonus. I'm sorry it haened but it'll only make you a better erson. Look forward to reading more of your shit.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Haz]

The beginning to middle was solid, I won't lie I kind of got lost for a second but..

I don't care what the real truth is, I decide what makes a fraud
And I believe my father, the same father that now stays wit God
Right before I pull up to the cemetary, you notice my car & the brake lights
I stop, & want to wake up from a bad dream but I'm only left wit a gravesite
My breath won't escape right, so I drop wit a bend in my knees
Silence is the only friend to my greive thats broken by the wind in the trees
Some things, I can't understand, if I only hear my mom cry in bed
& My heart decides my death how come her tears are in my eyes instead
everything is so cold & damp, I believe the poem bout Jesus thats told wit sand
So God, if I'm lettin' ya son carry me, let my father at least hold my hand


This was on Steroids no doubt whatsoever, can't even rate it cause it just came off mad raw, good read jack, Keep dropping

[JDR]

thx for the feed. 'preciate it.

[Kuhlerblynd]

Yeah I have alot to agree with what has been said. First, I want to say I really appreciate you coming into your own on a topical piece. I liked how you stuck to the subject, and the flow wasn't sacrificed for content and vice versa.
I like how you brought out the Paganism of Christmas, and actually put it down nicely. You showed alot of intelligence with this through your verse as well, which was a refreshing approach to something ANYONE could write about, but not something everyone could write about and make it truly interesting. What I mean by that is, everyone could write about Christmas in some form, but most wouldn't take this approach, nor would most write a better piece if they wrote with a different approach.
End result? One of the best pieces I've read from you. Enough said. Great job on this one.

[JDR]

Thx for tha feed Murks. I did this drop not to bash Christianity because I consider myself a Christian. I did it to reflect the meaning behind the meaning of Christmas. I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything but I'm a dude that enjoys learnin' things and lookin' for answers at stuff that isn't usually questioned. Like, for me, it doesn't matter what date Christmas is celebrated on as long as it's celebrated. I just found the facts interesting that Christians at that time felt threatened enough from the Pagan that it resulted to this. Maybe thats all wise tale but it is interesting, to say the least.

I appreciate the feedback and I'm impressed wit how much the board as a whole knows. Makes me feel better discussin' or writin' more things like this because I know I'm not in the dark of knowing or being curious.