Makeshift Suitcase

[Skunkle Sam]

You gotta choose your battles
Pick the proper time and place
You're so self centered and shallow
Right now, I can't have you in my face.
You can't handle the drama it creates,
I'm gonna put together a makeshift suitcase.
I don't want the drama you create,
I'm bouncing out with my makeshift suitcase...

"Will the storm calm down today?" she asked,
With a glare from her eyes that burnt through my back.
I know she was just pushing buttons to get me heated,
I ignored her, walked into the living room and retreated,
She followed me to keep it up and I didn't need it,
So I turned and said to her, "Hey love, I'm leaving.
I'm gonna stay at a friend's until all of this ends,
Cause you don't want to work it out and I don't want to pretend."
As I went to pack, she grabbed my arm and pulled back,
Like getting physical was really the proper way to act.

She tried to hold me there, to hold me down,
So I started yelling like I was yelling at the whole town.
That pushed her over the edge, now she wanted a fight,
I grabbed my makeshift suitcase and told her goodnight.
She grabbed me again, to keep me from leaving,
And I could hear her whisper "Hit me" in between the heavy breathing.
"Hit me, you pussy," she cried, I just closed my eyes, started my walk,
Cause I was too drunk to drive and she was too drunk to talk.
I stepped outside, and turned to see if she followed,
Sent her a text, "Love you and I'll be back tomorrow."

Called up the Homie, and couldn't hold back the tears,
"Can you pick me up, then we can pick up a few beers?
I've had a fucked night, we just had a dumb fight,
What was it about? I can't even remember right.
And right now, in this moment,
my problem with the bottle is that I don't own it."
We talked the next day but didn't come to a conclusion
Except she shouldn't drink cause she tends to act stupid.
But now that I've got my mind right,
Regret becomes a factor.
Looking back in hindsight,
I probably should have smacked her...

[blokB]

"Hit me, you pussy," she cried, I just closed my eyes, started my walk,
Cause I was too drunk to drive and she was too drunk to talk.- this line hit me realy hard dude.

this is a good read, i can relate to this topic on too many levels man. i think alota people will be able to. many deep lines, simple but quality rhyming, and a deep topic that never went off point. few multies, try to work those in youll be amazed how shit flows of your toungue when done right. overall this is right on dude. good drop.
now, leave feed fucker!! other writers arent gonna feed your work if theyve never seen your name feed them before. just lookin out cuz u my boy and this deserves feed. i hate to see you not get it cuz your a lazy dick. lol keep it up homie and go feed my shit!

[Skunkle Sam]

Not lazy, looking for a job just takes too much fuckin time! Thanks though, and I will be throwing out some feedback.

All right, this may seem like a rookie question (which you can expect out of a rookie) but what do you mean by multies?

[blokB]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/text- ... t3038.html

read this good sir. it may help. if not ill give you a hand. chapter five is multies/inner multies, but read it all if you arent "too busy looking for a job", haha. stay up dawgy.

[Skunkle Sam]

Thanks for the input. I agree with the criticism about the last line, it was kind of a cop out, and doesn't fit me at all.

What do you think of:

I can't really blame her, stupid is all she knows,
Should probably wear a helmet, that's how her life goes,
Brain can't hold ground when a soft breeze blows
And she ain't around, she's off with homeless Joe,
A punk and a slut, underneath the covers
Shit makes me laugh, cause they deserve each other,
I know for a fact that she got the worst hell
Cause I'm doing good, she's still stuck with herself.

instead of the last 4 lines?

Still seems weak to me, but it fits with my personality a lot better.